Fic: The Planets Will Turn Pt. 3
Feb. 1st, 2006 01:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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firefly_fanfic
Title: The Planets Will Turn Part 3
Author: greta_garbo
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Jayne/River
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: All your characters are belonging to Joss.
Summary: More escapades inspired by soaps for our favorite whacky duo!
River sat in the pilot seat, watching her soaps, while Wash sat in the copilot’s seat playing with with his dinos. “Grr, I will never tell you where I buried the gold!” Wash growled.
River glanced it him thoughtfully as the cortex cut to a commercial. “Wash?”
Wash looked up from his game and smiled at River. She was the only person he was never embarrassed to play in front of. “Yeah?”
“Do your dinosaurs have sex?”
Wash sputtered, looking for an answer. “Do my dinos do what?”
“Engage in sexual activity?”
Wash laughed incredulously. “Well, no, that’s never really been part of the game.”
“Why not?”
“Well……I guess because most of my dinos tend to be boys.”
“So?”
Wash looked at her, confused. “What do you mean, ‘so’?”
“It is possible for two men to engage in intercourse with each other.”
Wash dropped is dinos and held up his hands. “Whoa! Okay now! I really don’t need to hear you talking like that little River.”
River looked at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the screen. Wash watched her enjoying her soap operas for a moment before standing to move behind her. “If you’re going to start talking like that, I think maybe we ought to cut you off from the soaps. They’re making you ask all kinds of strange and disturbing questions.”
He peered over her shoulder and watched as a young blonde woman slapped an older woman.
“Why do you even watch this show, River? I mean, you’re a genius. One would think you’d find better ways to occupy your time.”
River just grunted and shrugged, her attention completely captured by the melodrama. Wash continued to observe her and the show, shaking his head in disbelief, until….
“Whoa, did that guy just get mauled by a panther!?”
River nodded. “Yes. Delia warned Ashton that he shouldn’t have killed the panther’s parents, but Ashton didn’t listen. Which doesn’t make much sense. Animals lack the proper thought process to even consider revenge.”
Wash placed his hand on the back of the pilot’s chair, leaning in so he could see the screen better. “Well, I’m thinking a lot of things on soaps don’t always make sense.” He watched as the panther chased a young girl through the jungle.
“That is true. I’m still trying to figure out how Jacob is still alive when he’s supposed to have Steve’s heart, despite the fact that Steve is alive and well.”
Wash and River studied the screen with matching interest.
--------------------------------------------------------
Mal walked into the cockpit and smiled at the sight before him. River and Wash were playing with Wash’s dinos together. His smile turned into a frown, though, as he heard the dialogue to the game.
“No, Veronica! I will not sleep with you! I love my wife very much, and I do not want to destroy the happy home we’ve made for each other!” Wash exclaimed, moving his dino around in an exaggerated fashion.
“Russell, you are weak, and one day soon I shall wear you down,” River retorted.
“What in the name of all that is holy is going on in here!” Mal roared. River and Wash jumped, dropping the dinos from their hand guiltily.
“Nothin’ captain,” Wash said. “Just playing with River.”
“That I saw,” Mal said tetchily. “What I heard, though, was another thing.”
Wash opened his mouth to explain, sure that he was going to take the brunt of Mal’s anger, but Mal instead pointed his finger at River. “Now I let it slide when I found you were watching that go se you and Kaylee call entertainment. But now that you’re hooking the rest of the crew on it, I have to say this is getting out of hand!”
“Not the whole crew,” River said, rolling her eyes. “Just Wash.”
Mal grumbled. Wash thought he was off the hook, but Mal turned on him quickly. “And you! What do you have to say for yourself? I never would have taken you for the soap watching type.”
Wash searched his mind for words. “But, Mal….a guy got mauled by a panther.”
Mal stared at Wash in disbelief before turning around and walking out of the cockpit, muttering.
River and Wash stared at him for a few moments before River picked up her dino and started the game again. “Russell, you can not resist my feminine wiles….”
--------------------------------
Zoe sat at one end of the table, staring at the sight at the other end in complete confusion. River, Kaylee, and Wash were all huddled around a cortex screen, watching The Planets will turn.
“Okay, wait, I don’t understand,” Wash said, looking up at River, than to Kaylee. “Why won’t Ashley go on a date with Osgood?”
“Because she thinks he’s weird,” Kaylee explained.
“And because she has a crush on her teacher,” River added.
“Who is…..?” Wash questioned.
“Sandy,” River and Kaylee responded in unison.
“He’d probably do her, too, if he knew she was sweet on him,” Kaylee said with disgust. “He’s such a piece of niou-se.”
River nodded, her eyes wide as she watched Fiona desperately clutch a gun as her kidnapper walked toward her.
“Oh no, he’s going to kill her!” Kaylee cried out.
They watched as the kidnapper came closer, and Fiona cowered into a corner. Just as the kidnapper was about to strike, Tony burst into the cabin. There was a brief scuffle, in which Tony managed to take out the attacker. Fiona rushed into Tony’s arms and kissed him.
Kaylee sighed dreamily. “Aww….shiny.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Wash said. “Isn’t he married to Jennifer.”
Kaylee shook her head. “No, that’s his son, Steve.”
“Oh.”
River barely heard the conversation as she began to connect the dots in her head.
Zoe laughed at the group. “Ni men dou shi shagua.”
Wash feigned a look of hurt. “Aw, come on, wifey. Enjoy the perks of your sex.”
Zoe shook her head, still laughing. “I think you’re doing that well enough for the both of us, husband.”
“Of course,” River murmured. “Fear sets off the pheromones, which lead to sexual attraction.”
Kaylee just stared at her before giggling.
-------------------------------------
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne strode onto the ship with new cargo, pleased that a job went well for once.
“Wash,” Mal said to the pilot who had come to the cargo bay to see that they had gotten back all right, “set a course for Persephone. Wave Badger, let him know we’ve got the goods.”
Wash nodded and turned back toward the cock pit, but was stopped by Simon’s telling.
“Wait, no, we can’t go yet!” he yelled as he headed into the cargo bay from the passenger dorms, Kaylee hot on his heels. “I can’t find River.”
Mal rolled his eyes, angry that the doc had lost his sister again. “She’s probably just hiding, she’ll be fine.”
Kaylee shook her head, “No, we looked all over. Been looking since not long after you left. She ain’t on the ship.”
“Ta shi suo you diyu de biaozi de ma!” Mal muttered. He turned to tell Jayne to go out and see if he couldn’t find the girl, to see that Jayne was already heading off the ship.
“She couldn’t have gotten far,” Jayne yelled over his shoulder. “Probably went frolicking through the daisies and fell asleep in a field or something,” he muttered, shaking his head. Gorram crazy girl. Making him go find her, and after he just got back from a job. All he wanted to do was go down to his bunk, smoke a cigar and clean his guns. But no, the little moon brain had to go run off. He pushed down the small feeling at panic when the thought hit him that she might be in trouble and kept grumbling as he tried to track River.
--------------------------------
River huddled up against the wall of the small cave and smiled to herself. The sun was setting, it wouldn’t be long now until Jayne found her. She just hoped that he got there before the sun went down completely. Sex under a sunset sounded quite romantic to her.
She’d left a fairly easy trail to follow, but she hoped it wasn’t too obvious that she wanted to be found. The proper amount of fear and anxiety wouldn’t be built if Jayne knew she wanted him to find her.
She practiced her ‘scared look’, and decided it would look a little better with tears, so she worked on mustering some up. Before long, she heard heavy footsteps heading toward the cave. She let herself smile before slipping back into her scared look. She knew those footsteps were Jayne’s.
She fought the smile she felt tugging at her lips when he leaned down a bit and peered at her through the opening of the cave. “Crazy,” he said conversationally.
River let out a whimper and hoped it sounded just pathetic enough. Time to pull out her acting chops. “I got lost.”
Jayne sighed wearily. “I know. Come on, now. You’re brother’s worried.” He held his hand out to her and River eyed it nervously. This was not the way it was supposed to go. She pushed herself further against the wall. “No. Scared.”
Jayne grunted angrily before lowering his voice, trying to coax her, “Come on, moon brain. You know I ain’t gonna hurt ya.”
River shook her head. “Not scared of you.”
Jayne sighed, “Then what are you scared of.”
River hadn’t thought that far. “Um……just…..scared,” she finished lamely, hoping Jayne didn’t catch it.
She assumed that he hadn’t since he had bent down and started walking into the cave. River smiled lightly to herself. Finally, her plan seemed to be working.
Jayne crouched down next to River. “Come on, Crazy. We got a lot of cargo on the boat that needs to get to Persephone ASAP, and your crazy time is holding us up.”
River shook her head and pressed her face into her knees, trying not to smile.
When she didn’t move, Jayne started to worry. Maybe she was really hurt. He reached out cautiously, sure that at any second she strike and break his hand. When she didn’t move, he decided he was safe, and started running his hands over her, looking for a wound.
River was very happy. Jayne was touching her, her plan was going correctly, all was right in the verse. She shifted her body so that she was pressed against his body, her arms around his neck.
Jayne ran his hands over her back, still checking for wounds. Girl didn’t feel quite so bad pressed into his chest like that. Then she sighed against his neck. And that did all kinds of thing to him.
“You rescued me,” she said dreamily. “We can have the sex now.”
That did something to him, too, only clearly not what she wanted it to. He pushed River away from him. “Jesus, are you still on that?”
River looked up at him, eyes wide. “I was in trouble. You saved me. We must have sex now,” she explained as if Jayne was a very small child.
Jayne growled as her stood, lifting River up and throwing her over his shoulder before he stomped out of the cave. River pressed her upper body against his back and sighed. “Are we going to make love in a field of flowers?” she questioned.
That made Jayne walk faster. He didn’t stop until they reached Serenity, where he deposited River in front of her brother. She looked around her, disoriented. “This isn’t a field of flowers.”
“Damn right it ain’t,” Jayne said as he walked off toward his bunk. “You’re sister’s got some crazy notions, doc.”
Simon looked River over frantically, making sure no harm had come to her. “River, what were you doing, running away like that.”
River stared miserably after Jayne. “Waiting to be rescued,” she said sullenly. “Rescued by a knight in rusted armor.”
Jayne tried to ignore River’s words as he walked off toward his bunk. He just tried not to smile at the fact that River thought he was a knight.
-----------------------
Translations:
niou-se - cow dung
Ni men dou shi shagua - idiots, all of you
Ta shi suo you diyu de biaozi de ma - whores in hell
Author: greta_garbo
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Jayne/River
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: All your characters are belonging to Joss.
Summary: More escapades inspired by soaps for our favorite whacky duo!
River sat in the pilot seat, watching her soaps, while Wash sat in the copilot’s seat playing with with his dinos. “Grr, I will never tell you where I buried the gold!” Wash growled.
River glanced it him thoughtfully as the cortex cut to a commercial. “Wash?”
Wash looked up from his game and smiled at River. She was the only person he was never embarrassed to play in front of. “Yeah?”
“Do your dinosaurs have sex?”
Wash sputtered, looking for an answer. “Do my dinos do what?”
“Engage in sexual activity?”
Wash laughed incredulously. “Well, no, that’s never really been part of the game.”
“Why not?”
“Well……I guess because most of my dinos tend to be boys.”
“So?”
Wash looked at her, confused. “What do you mean, ‘so’?”
“It is possible for two men to engage in intercourse with each other.”
Wash dropped is dinos and held up his hands. “Whoa! Okay now! I really don’t need to hear you talking like that little River.”
River looked at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the screen. Wash watched her enjoying her soap operas for a moment before standing to move behind her. “If you’re going to start talking like that, I think maybe we ought to cut you off from the soaps. They’re making you ask all kinds of strange and disturbing questions.”
He peered over her shoulder and watched as a young blonde woman slapped an older woman.
“Why do you even watch this show, River? I mean, you’re a genius. One would think you’d find better ways to occupy your time.”
River just grunted and shrugged, her attention completely captured by the melodrama. Wash continued to observe her and the show, shaking his head in disbelief, until….
“Whoa, did that guy just get mauled by a panther!?”
River nodded. “Yes. Delia warned Ashton that he shouldn’t have killed the panther’s parents, but Ashton didn’t listen. Which doesn’t make much sense. Animals lack the proper thought process to even consider revenge.”
Wash placed his hand on the back of the pilot’s chair, leaning in so he could see the screen better. “Well, I’m thinking a lot of things on soaps don’t always make sense.” He watched as the panther chased a young girl through the jungle.
“That is true. I’m still trying to figure out how Jacob is still alive when he’s supposed to have Steve’s heart, despite the fact that Steve is alive and well.”
Wash and River studied the screen with matching interest.
--------------------------------------------------------
Mal walked into the cockpit and smiled at the sight before him. River and Wash were playing with Wash’s dinos together. His smile turned into a frown, though, as he heard the dialogue to the game.
“No, Veronica! I will not sleep with you! I love my wife very much, and I do not want to destroy the happy home we’ve made for each other!” Wash exclaimed, moving his dino around in an exaggerated fashion.
“Russell, you are weak, and one day soon I shall wear you down,” River retorted.
“What in the name of all that is holy is going on in here!” Mal roared. River and Wash jumped, dropping the dinos from their hand guiltily.
“Nothin’ captain,” Wash said. “Just playing with River.”
“That I saw,” Mal said tetchily. “What I heard, though, was another thing.”
Wash opened his mouth to explain, sure that he was going to take the brunt of Mal’s anger, but Mal instead pointed his finger at River. “Now I let it slide when I found you were watching that go se you and Kaylee call entertainment. But now that you’re hooking the rest of the crew on it, I have to say this is getting out of hand!”
“Not the whole crew,” River said, rolling her eyes. “Just Wash.”
Mal grumbled. Wash thought he was off the hook, but Mal turned on him quickly. “And you! What do you have to say for yourself? I never would have taken you for the soap watching type.”
Wash searched his mind for words. “But, Mal….a guy got mauled by a panther.”
Mal stared at Wash in disbelief before turning around and walking out of the cockpit, muttering.
River and Wash stared at him for a few moments before River picked up her dino and started the game again. “Russell, you can not resist my feminine wiles….”
--------------------------------
Zoe sat at one end of the table, staring at the sight at the other end in complete confusion. River, Kaylee, and Wash were all huddled around a cortex screen, watching The Planets will turn.
“Okay, wait, I don’t understand,” Wash said, looking up at River, than to Kaylee. “Why won’t Ashley go on a date with Osgood?”
“Because she thinks he’s weird,” Kaylee explained.
“And because she has a crush on her teacher,” River added.
“Who is…..?” Wash questioned.
“Sandy,” River and Kaylee responded in unison.
“He’d probably do her, too, if he knew she was sweet on him,” Kaylee said with disgust. “He’s such a piece of niou-se.”
River nodded, her eyes wide as she watched Fiona desperately clutch a gun as her kidnapper walked toward her.
“Oh no, he’s going to kill her!” Kaylee cried out.
They watched as the kidnapper came closer, and Fiona cowered into a corner. Just as the kidnapper was about to strike, Tony burst into the cabin. There was a brief scuffle, in which Tony managed to take out the attacker. Fiona rushed into Tony’s arms and kissed him.
Kaylee sighed dreamily. “Aww….shiny.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Wash said. “Isn’t he married to Jennifer.”
Kaylee shook her head. “No, that’s his son, Steve.”
“Oh.”
River barely heard the conversation as she began to connect the dots in her head.
Zoe laughed at the group. “Ni men dou shi shagua.”
Wash feigned a look of hurt. “Aw, come on, wifey. Enjoy the perks of your sex.”
Zoe shook her head, still laughing. “I think you’re doing that well enough for the both of us, husband.”
“Of course,” River murmured. “Fear sets off the pheromones, which lead to sexual attraction.”
Kaylee just stared at her before giggling.
-------------------------------------
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne strode onto the ship with new cargo, pleased that a job went well for once.
“Wash,” Mal said to the pilot who had come to the cargo bay to see that they had gotten back all right, “set a course for Persephone. Wave Badger, let him know we’ve got the goods.”
Wash nodded and turned back toward the cock pit, but was stopped by Simon’s telling.
“Wait, no, we can’t go yet!” he yelled as he headed into the cargo bay from the passenger dorms, Kaylee hot on his heels. “I can’t find River.”
Mal rolled his eyes, angry that the doc had lost his sister again. “She’s probably just hiding, she’ll be fine.”
Kaylee shook her head, “No, we looked all over. Been looking since not long after you left. She ain’t on the ship.”
“Ta shi suo you diyu de biaozi de ma!” Mal muttered. He turned to tell Jayne to go out and see if he couldn’t find the girl, to see that Jayne was already heading off the ship.
“She couldn’t have gotten far,” Jayne yelled over his shoulder. “Probably went frolicking through the daisies and fell asleep in a field or something,” he muttered, shaking his head. Gorram crazy girl. Making him go find her, and after he just got back from a job. All he wanted to do was go down to his bunk, smoke a cigar and clean his guns. But no, the little moon brain had to go run off. He pushed down the small feeling at panic when the thought hit him that she might be in trouble and kept grumbling as he tried to track River.
--------------------------------
River huddled up against the wall of the small cave and smiled to herself. The sun was setting, it wouldn’t be long now until Jayne found her. She just hoped that he got there before the sun went down completely. Sex under a sunset sounded quite romantic to her.
She’d left a fairly easy trail to follow, but she hoped it wasn’t too obvious that she wanted to be found. The proper amount of fear and anxiety wouldn’t be built if Jayne knew she wanted him to find her.
She practiced her ‘scared look’, and decided it would look a little better with tears, so she worked on mustering some up. Before long, she heard heavy footsteps heading toward the cave. She let herself smile before slipping back into her scared look. She knew those footsteps were Jayne’s.
She fought the smile she felt tugging at her lips when he leaned down a bit and peered at her through the opening of the cave. “Crazy,” he said conversationally.
River let out a whimper and hoped it sounded just pathetic enough. Time to pull out her acting chops. “I got lost.”
Jayne sighed wearily. “I know. Come on, now. You’re brother’s worried.” He held his hand out to her and River eyed it nervously. This was not the way it was supposed to go. She pushed herself further against the wall. “No. Scared.”
Jayne grunted angrily before lowering his voice, trying to coax her, “Come on, moon brain. You know I ain’t gonna hurt ya.”
River shook her head. “Not scared of you.”
Jayne sighed, “Then what are you scared of.”
River hadn’t thought that far. “Um……just…..scared,” she finished lamely, hoping Jayne didn’t catch it.
She assumed that he hadn’t since he had bent down and started walking into the cave. River smiled lightly to herself. Finally, her plan seemed to be working.
Jayne crouched down next to River. “Come on, Crazy. We got a lot of cargo on the boat that needs to get to Persephone ASAP, and your crazy time is holding us up.”
River shook her head and pressed her face into her knees, trying not to smile.
When she didn’t move, Jayne started to worry. Maybe she was really hurt. He reached out cautiously, sure that at any second she strike and break his hand. When she didn’t move, he decided he was safe, and started running his hands over her, looking for a wound.
River was very happy. Jayne was touching her, her plan was going correctly, all was right in the verse. She shifted her body so that she was pressed against his body, her arms around his neck.
Jayne ran his hands over her back, still checking for wounds. Girl didn’t feel quite so bad pressed into his chest like that. Then she sighed against his neck. And that did all kinds of thing to him.
“You rescued me,” she said dreamily. “We can have the sex now.”
That did something to him, too, only clearly not what she wanted it to. He pushed River away from him. “Jesus, are you still on that?”
River looked up at him, eyes wide. “I was in trouble. You saved me. We must have sex now,” she explained as if Jayne was a very small child.
Jayne growled as her stood, lifting River up and throwing her over his shoulder before he stomped out of the cave. River pressed her upper body against his back and sighed. “Are we going to make love in a field of flowers?” she questioned.
That made Jayne walk faster. He didn’t stop until they reached Serenity, where he deposited River in front of her brother. She looked around her, disoriented. “This isn’t a field of flowers.”
“Damn right it ain’t,” Jayne said as he walked off toward his bunk. “You’re sister’s got some crazy notions, doc.”
Simon looked River over frantically, making sure no harm had come to her. “River, what were you doing, running away like that.”
River stared miserably after Jayne. “Waiting to be rescued,” she said sullenly. “Rescued by a knight in rusted armor.”
Jayne tried to ignore River’s words as he walked off toward his bunk. He just tried not to smile at the fact that River thought he was a knight.
-----------------------
Translations:
niou-se - cow dung
Ni men dou shi shagua - idiots, all of you
Ta shi suo you diyu de biaozi de ma - whores in hell
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-01 09:58 pm (UTC)And don't feel bad. I have Guiding Light and As the World Turns history coming out of my ears.