Radio Nowhere, Chapter 26
Oct. 12th, 2008 01:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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firefly_fanfic
Title: Radio Nowhere
Author: Sarah-Beth (memorysdaughter)
Email: memorysdaughter@gmail.com
Summary: Fourteen years in the future, River takes a turn towards the more-crazy, leaving Serenity's crew to care for her daughter.
Series: Chapter 26
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Timeline: Post-BDM, except with two very important changes.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never have been, never will be. The title comes from a Bruce Springsteen song.
Chapters 1-25
Radio Nowhere
In the bunk he shared with Kaylee, Simon knelt on the floor, looking under the bed. He only kept a few things there – two pairs of shoes he rarely wore, two plastic tubs full of Kaylee’s spare parts and tools, and a small box covered in dark crimson silk.
They didn’t have many things to remember Daisy by, but they kept them all in the silk box. Inara had bought the box on Cardiff; it had been designed to hold strands of pearls, but after Daisy’s death, she had gifted it to Simon and Kaylee for Daisy’s memories.
He pulled the box from under the bed. Carefully he undid the two loops of ribbon that held the box closed, and opened the flaps gently. There below him was all that remained of Daisy Katherine Tam. She had lived for less than an hour, but her tiny life had changed Serenity’s family nearly as much as Beck’s enduring life had. But all that was left of her was there below Simon’s fingers, an undershirt she had briefly worn, a name bracelet Kaylee had beaded before Daisy’s birth, a tiny crepe paper envelope that held a lock of Daisy’s hair, and a still capture and map of the place they had buried Daisy.
It was a place like any other Serenity visited once, ultimately forgettable. That hurt Simon more than anything, because a parent should never forget the place where they buried their child. No, they should remember it; they should be able to find it with their eyes closed and their hands tied behind their backs. But without the map, Simon knew he would never be able to find Daisy again.
He didn’t hear Kaylee come in behind him, but he felt her hands on his shoulders. “What’re ya doin’?” she asked quietly.
Simon turned, still on his knees. “I’m… River… River says we have to go to Daisy.”
Something strange appeared in Kaylee’s eyes, and she knelt down next to him. “River says we have to go to Daisy?”
“It sounds implausible to me, too.”
“I didn’t say it was implausible,” Kaylee said. She wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t want t’ go. I don’t… I don’t wanna remember. Everythin’ with Beck, losin’ her, goin’ after yer parents… it just makes me remember. An’ I don’t wanna remember anymore.”
“Shh, shh,” Simon said, and pulled her into his arms.
“Why? Why, Simon? Why does River want us t’ go back t’ Daisy? What’re we gonna find now?” Kaylee’s voice rose; she was nearly hysterical. “We lost her, and we ain’t gonna get her back. Why?”
He held her, pressed tight against her, and they rocked together on the floor.
River lay still on her bunk, listening to Simon and Kaylee cry below decks. Tears dripped from her eyes, silently, and she felt the loss of Beck so deeply that it was like a knife in her chest. Even now, if – no, when – they got Beck back, she knew Beck would be changed. Somehow Beck would never look the same to her, would never sound the same to her. Beck would come back to Serenity and they would do the same things they had always done, but everything would be new. This separation, their first, had changed everything.
“When you come back,” River said aloud, though she knew Beck was beyond the range of hearing, “we’ll do something new. We’ll stay up late reading. We’ll finger paint. We’ll watch old Earth-That-Was comedies on the Cortex. We’ll dance. We’ll find a playground and go down the slides and spin on the swings. I’ll braid your hair in lots of braids. I’ll make mashed foods for you, like I used to when you were little… or pudding. Or even ice cream. Anything you want.
“Just… please come back to me the same way you were. Come back to me as my Beck, and I’ll never ask you for anything again.”
Beck didn’t remember Daisy’s funeral. She hadn’t been there; she had been fighting for her life, hooked up to a multitude of machines in Serenity’s infirmary. But though she hadn’t attended, she knew every detail of the funeral intimately.
Uncle Simon wore a black suit and a white shirt. Aunt Kaylee wore a bright red dress; she refused to wear black. They both carried flowers to the gravesite. Uncle Mal and Uncle Jayne followed along behind them, carrying Daisy’s tiny white coffin.
They buried Daisy under a sprawling weeping cherry, where she would be surrounded by beauty, blanketed by pink blossoms as big as fists. Aunt Inara sang a traditional hymn; no one else spoke. Kaylee sobbed and Simon held her.
River did not go to the funeral. Instead, she spent the duration of the service in the infirmary, lying on top of the incubator that held her daughter. Beck didn’t remember that, either, but she knew it to be true.
And now, she knew that they were going back for Daisy. They were going back to Rum River, to that weeping cherry, to the blossoms as big as fists.
Because they hadn’t just buried Daisy – they had buried Daisy’s secret, too.
Author: Sarah-Beth (memorysdaughter)
Email: memorysdaughter@gmail.com
Summary: Fourteen years in the future, River takes a turn towards the more-crazy, leaving Serenity's crew to care for her daughter.
Series: Chapter 26
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Timeline: Post-BDM, except with two very important changes.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never have been, never will be. The title comes from a Bruce Springsteen song.
Chapters 1-25
Radio Nowhere
In the bunk he shared with Kaylee, Simon knelt on the floor, looking under the bed. He only kept a few things there – two pairs of shoes he rarely wore, two plastic tubs full of Kaylee’s spare parts and tools, and a small box covered in dark crimson silk.
They didn’t have many things to remember Daisy by, but they kept them all in the silk box. Inara had bought the box on Cardiff; it had been designed to hold strands of pearls, but after Daisy’s death, she had gifted it to Simon and Kaylee for Daisy’s memories.
He pulled the box from under the bed. Carefully he undid the two loops of ribbon that held the box closed, and opened the flaps gently. There below him was all that remained of Daisy Katherine Tam. She had lived for less than an hour, but her tiny life had changed Serenity’s family nearly as much as Beck’s enduring life had. But all that was left of her was there below Simon’s fingers, an undershirt she had briefly worn, a name bracelet Kaylee had beaded before Daisy’s birth, a tiny crepe paper envelope that held a lock of Daisy’s hair, and a still capture and map of the place they had buried Daisy.
It was a place like any other Serenity visited once, ultimately forgettable. That hurt Simon more than anything, because a parent should never forget the place where they buried their child. No, they should remember it; they should be able to find it with their eyes closed and their hands tied behind their backs. But without the map, Simon knew he would never be able to find Daisy again.
He didn’t hear Kaylee come in behind him, but he felt her hands on his shoulders. “What’re ya doin’?” she asked quietly.
Simon turned, still on his knees. “I’m… River… River says we have to go to Daisy.”
Something strange appeared in Kaylee’s eyes, and she knelt down next to him. “River says we have to go to Daisy?”
“It sounds implausible to me, too.”
“I didn’t say it was implausible,” Kaylee said. She wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t want t’ go. I don’t… I don’t wanna remember. Everythin’ with Beck, losin’ her, goin’ after yer parents… it just makes me remember. An’ I don’t wanna remember anymore.”
“Shh, shh,” Simon said, and pulled her into his arms.
“Why? Why, Simon? Why does River want us t’ go back t’ Daisy? What’re we gonna find now?” Kaylee’s voice rose; she was nearly hysterical. “We lost her, and we ain’t gonna get her back. Why?”
He held her, pressed tight against her, and they rocked together on the floor.
River lay still on her bunk, listening to Simon and Kaylee cry below decks. Tears dripped from her eyes, silently, and she felt the loss of Beck so deeply that it was like a knife in her chest. Even now, if – no, when – they got Beck back, she knew Beck would be changed. Somehow Beck would never look the same to her, would never sound the same to her. Beck would come back to Serenity and they would do the same things they had always done, but everything would be new. This separation, their first, had changed everything.
“When you come back,” River said aloud, though she knew Beck was beyond the range of hearing, “we’ll do something new. We’ll stay up late reading. We’ll finger paint. We’ll watch old Earth-That-Was comedies on the Cortex. We’ll dance. We’ll find a playground and go down the slides and spin on the swings. I’ll braid your hair in lots of braids. I’ll make mashed foods for you, like I used to when you were little… or pudding. Or even ice cream. Anything you want.
“Just… please come back to me the same way you were. Come back to me as my Beck, and I’ll never ask you for anything again.”
Beck didn’t remember Daisy’s funeral. She hadn’t been there; she had been fighting for her life, hooked up to a multitude of machines in Serenity’s infirmary. But though she hadn’t attended, she knew every detail of the funeral intimately.
Uncle Simon wore a black suit and a white shirt. Aunt Kaylee wore a bright red dress; she refused to wear black. They both carried flowers to the gravesite. Uncle Mal and Uncle Jayne followed along behind them, carrying Daisy’s tiny white coffin.
They buried Daisy under a sprawling weeping cherry, where she would be surrounded by beauty, blanketed by pink blossoms as big as fists. Aunt Inara sang a traditional hymn; no one else spoke. Kaylee sobbed and Simon held her.
River did not go to the funeral. Instead, she spent the duration of the service in the infirmary, lying on top of the incubator that held her daughter. Beck didn’t remember that, either, but she knew it to be true.
And now, she knew that they were going back for Daisy. They were going back to Rum River, to that weeping cherry, to the blossoms as big as fists.
Because they hadn’t just buried Daisy – they had buried Daisy’s secret, too.