firefly_fanfic | FIC: Damsel in Distress (Reply)

TITLE: Damsel in Distress (Sixteenth in the Riverrun Series)
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: River/Mal
SUMMARY: Not all familiar faces are friendly.
NOTES: Serenity spoilers. Also spoilers for Serenity DVD deleted scenes.

River sat at the large, rough table, eating a large bowl of hodgeberries and cream. Her face was intent as she devoured the fruit, crushing some of the berries with her spoon to make them bleed into the cream. It was very late, and she was alone, wakeful and gluttonous.

Fess Higgins approached her and sat down beside her. "Patience is hooked up. There'll be no way even the Alliance can track your messages to her." He ran a hand through his hair, then seemed to register how late it was. "Don't you sleep on the ship?"

River nodded, swallowing her mouthful. "But it's better if I stay up late. Then when I get back, Mal is in bed, and I can pretend he's been sleeping the whole time. So I don't have to scold him." She handed Fess an extra spoon and pushed her large bowl towards him companionably.

He began sharing the berries with her. "Has he made a decision yet about Inara?"

River shook her head. "That's the other reason I'm up late. We have to have a fight tonight."

Fess smiled a little at her way of putting it. "He shouldn't go," he said seriously. "And he certainly shouldn't take you with him."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You suffer from misconceptions. He's more important than I am."

"You're—"

"A great big gun. Maybe the best gun. But he's the general," she said blandly, licking her spoon.

"But you've been making the plans..." He frowned as he tried to understand.

She nodded. "So I'm a computer and a gun. But people are loyal to him. His whole life has been making him ready for this, even though he doesn't know it. Every job he's done, every person he's met, it's all been leading up to this. If something happened to him, there would be no war. Do you see?"

Slowly, he nodded his acquiescence. "So you'll go then. With Jayne?"

She laughed at him. Even though he had gotten over his hero worship of Jayne fairly quickly after talking to the man for five minutes, Fess still persisted in over-estimating the mercenary's importance. "Delicate operation. Brains needed, not muscles." Staring at him calculatingly, she said, "It might be you." She cocked her head, waiting to see what he would say to that.

"Me? I'm...not very useful, River, you know that...I can't shoot or anything."

"I can shoot. Need someone to get Inara while I shoot. It's not precisely hard."

He bowed his head, a sense of honor resting on him at her even considering him to stand beside her. "If you want me with you, I'll go. But Captain Reynolds..."

"Does listen to reason, actually," she said, amused. "It just takes a while." She waited until he pushed away the bowl, then lifted it up, drinking the cream thirstily. "I should go now. If I wait too long, he'll pretend to be asleep so we don't fight." She rose to go.

He smiled at her. "River..." She paused, looking at him inquiringly. "Thank you," he concluded.

"You're welcome." She gave an impish smile. "I know how to make men too." And then she was gone, long hair flying out behind her, hurrying back to Serenity.

Zoe was sitting at the table in the mess as River made her way to her—their—room, cleaning her guns. "River. Come and sit down for a minute, xiao mei mei."

"Is he in bed?" River said, sitting down obediently.

Zoe nodded. "Won't be sleepin' till you're with him, though, I reckon." She didn't look up from her work. "Something I need you to understand, River. I follow his orders. Not yours." Her words were hard, but something in her tone asked River to understand.

River flushed. "I know that. I know why...I'm not...not crazy."

"Well, that's a different question," Zoe said with a small smile, and she raised her eyes to meet River's, staring intently. "Listen to what I'm sayin', xiao mei mei. I follow his orders, no matter how ridiculous and stupid and wrong they are. That's why."

"That's why what?" River said, frustrated.

"Why you gotta make him listen to you about this. He loves you, body and soul. But if he doesn't put everything into rescuing her...he won't be able to live with himself. It'll poison him, poison his love for you too. So he thinks he has to go. And if he does, I'll walk in there behind him." Zoe paused. "I don't place much hope on followin' him back out, though. I might stand a better chance walking out after you."

At last, River's face brightened with comprehension, and she nodded. "Promise. I'll make it right."

Zoe gave her a nod, business-like, yet almost respectful. "See that you do. Cause to be frank? Not much more eager than you are to see him fall into that trap again."

River stood up, kissing Zoe's cheek lightly, butterfly-wise. "I'll make it right," she repeated, her heart filled with hope, then hurried towards her quarters to fulfill her promise.

He was sitting on the bed, still fully dressed, and his head turned when she came in. "Must be gettin' soft," he said, smiling at her. "Don't much like takin' my own boots off."

Smiling so widely it must have hurt, River knelt down at his feet, helping to take them off him. When he was in his socks, she leaned forward, resting her arms on his thighs. "I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," he said, stroking her hair. He pulled her up onto the bed with him. "So, we gonna have a fight like everyone's waitin' for?"

"Are you going to be stupid and think you have to go for her yourself?" she said, warily.

He sighed, lying back and drawing her on top of him. "River, you so mistrustful of me you want to let her die?" He played gently with her hair.

"No!" She kissed him frantically. "Mal, isn't like that."

"Glad to hear it," he said wryly. "And that means I shouldn't be hearin' no arguments about going in there."

River sighed, then poked him with her finger. "Who's a better fighter, you or me?"

"You," he said immediately, with no masculine resentment.

"And who's better at running the war, talking to Harrow and Monty and Bourne and Patience and making sure that everyone's doing what they're supposed to?" she demanded.

"I reckon I am, but River, you don't seem to be thinkin' about the fact that little as you like the thought of lettin' me be riddled with holes, I ain't any more tolerant of people shooting at them as I love." His voice was intense, and he held her tightly, trying to make her understand.

"I know," she sighed, then paused for a while, thinking. "Listen. If I went, and it didn't work...they wouldn't kill us. They'd hope to still get you, that you'd come for me. But if it was you, they'd just kill you. You're the target now, Mal. They don't want me, they want you. You have to get used to that."

"Don't change how I feel," he said obstinately. "You and Inara both...you're under my protection. I can't go letting you chase off after her and get yourself hurt."

"Wouldn't go alone," she said, rolling off him so that she lay on her side, fixing him with her steady gaze. "I'd take Fess."

"Fess! And what the hell use is he gonna be?" Mal demanded, wounded.

"Can scramble the signals if they try to bring in backup. Keep us from being detected coming in. He's smart, Mal."

"Don't know as anyone who thinks Jayne is a hero qualifies as smart," Mal grumbled, but it was half-hearted. Fess had already been of use in the little time he'd been with them.

"Fess and Zoe. You sent Zoe with me before..." Her tone was coaxing.

"Yeah, cause I couldn't swim, and it wasn't dangerous. I can shoot, though." He stroked her hair. "River, don't make it like this. This is how we always do it. Someone gets hurt or taken, I go in and fetch 'em back out again."

She raised up on her elbow, glaring down at him. "Things change, Mal. Aren't just responsible to us. You're responsible to them too."

"Listen to me, girl," he said roughly, and he pulled her close. "Two things I wouldn't forgive myself for. One is lettin' her be hurt because I didn't do anything to stop it. The other is lettin' somethin' happen to you..."

"It won't," she promised. "Unexpected configuration. They won't be expecting...we'll take Fess's ship."

"You're gonna kill me with this," he groaned, and he let her go, turning his back on her.

She didn't draw back, just curled up with her cheek pressed between his shoulders. "Mal, please. I can save her for you. I will." He didn't answer, and she persisted. "You trusted me when it was for me. Said you trusted me like yourself. You trusted me to go in and come out of the station at Sihnon..."

He rolled over, his anger roused, and he pinned her. "That what this is about? You think it killed me any less to see you go in there? Think I breathed while they had you?"

She shook her head mutely, staring up at him. "I know," she said, in a very small voice. "But this won't be as bad. They won't have heavy Alliance cover, and I don't think many ground forces. Zoe and I can handle it, Mal..."

"What are you?" he said in a low voice, shaking her slightly. "What are you?"

"Soldier?" she said, after a moment's thought.

He laughed roughly. "Soldiers follow orders, River, and you damned sure don't."

"Yours," she said finally. "I'm yours. But you can't keep me in a box. It doesn't work. It'll never be like before...everything we had is different." She reached up, brushing back his hair with her fingertips.

"I wish," he said fiercely, lowering his head to rest on her breast, "I wish you knew the future."

"I don't," River said with a little shudder, but she held him close. "Send us to save her. Meet us at Hera, and we can proceed together from there. Give the order, Mal..."

"River, I can't send you to die," he said desperately.

"I promise, then," she said, stroking his head tenderly. "I promise I won't."

He lifted his head, eyes fixed on her. "You promise?"

"I do," she whispered.

"Okay," he sighed, lowering his head again. "Go, then. You go." Speaking the words cost him more than he had ever dreamed.