Gone But Not Forgotten
Dec. 22nd, 2005 06:10 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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firefly_fanfic
Hello, I come bearing gifts!
Title: Here In Spirt(Part 1)
Author: GateHobbit
Rating: PG
Characters: Wash and River, so far
Pairing: None
Summary: The voices are back, but this time they're much more familiar.
Notes: MAJOR BDM spoilers.
Disclaimer: Like action figures. Not the real thing, but fun to play with.
Cross-posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
washfic
“Watch… watch how.” River tossed in her sleep, her flailing arms catching Simon across the face. He woke with a start, not expecting to see her in his bunk.
“River, honey, wake up.” He grabbed her arms to still her. “River, it’s just a bad dream.” He looked at her worriedly as she slowly came to. She hadn’t had a nightmare since the Miranda incident, nearly a month ago now.
“Simon?”
He smoothed her hair, brushing away the haunted look in her deep, brown eyes as well.
“Sorry, Simon. She didn’t want to disturb you, but she had strange dreams last night and didn’t want to face them alone again.”
Simon sighed heavily- she was speaking in the third person again. “It’s okay, mei-mei. I’m here; you’re safe. It’s okay.” She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head.
“Invading her thoughts again. Not memories this time, though. Not fearful, not malicious. Hurt, sad, in pain.” She opened her eyes again, looking suddenly lucid. “Wash. He’s in there.”
“Wash is gone, River honey.”
She shook her head fiercely at his statement. “No! His soul took flight, as the phoenix from the ashes. Fled the fire and found refuge in a friendly land. I can hear him,” she insisted.
Simon sighed again and sat up, ready to reach for the smoothers he kept prepared for these kinds of situations. He had hoped he wouldn’t need to use them again.
“No needles, Simon. Please, no. I’ll go back to my bunk and close the door against the voices.” She stood, looking beseechingly at him. Before he could react, she slipped out the door like a shadow shifting in the night.
------
She quietly headed for the cockpit. Or rather, Wash did. It was his decision to seek the familiarity and comfort of the pilot’s seat, despite what had happened to him there. River listened to his thoughts in her head as if he was speaking aloud to her. He was surprised at the silence of her bare feet across the metal grating. He had never been very graceful, except when he was at the controls of a ship. It was odd for him to be in this body, and odd to be sharing it. Yet, it didn’t feel odd to sit in his chair again, looking out the view screens at the starry black.
“Why are you here? When one’s body ceases to live, the soul customarily accompanies it.” She thought her words, not needing to speak them and having no physical form to direct them to.
“Not exactly. Don’t believe in heaven or hell or any of that, do you?”
“There is no tangible evidence to support such theories.”
“I suppose I don’t count, huh?”
“You are not tangible. Could be a figment of the girl’s imagination. Could be wishful thinking, of her or the others. We miss you.”
“I doubt that’s entirely true of sentimental Jayne.”
“He misses you. Misses harassing you.”
“Lovely. Can’t say I miss being harassed, myself.”
“It is his preferred method of expression. He harasses Kaylee too. Taunts Simon, disobeys Captain, knows better than to mess with Inara and Zoë.”
“Smart man,” he replied, laughing ruefully. “Oh, Zoë. If I could just talk to her one last time. How is my warrior woman?”
“She mourns your passing. Tries to be brave, tries not to show it. The grief was so strong at first; I couldn’t block it out and it hurt so bad. It is quieter now, but still painful.”
“I wish I could see her. I hate that she’s hurting and it’s my fault.”
“Not your fault. You couldn’t have known. Besides, if it hadn’t happened, Captain wouldn’t have known to pull Zoë away from the next one. She is alive because of you.”
“She’s alive, and I can’t hold her or tell her I love her. I don’t even know why I’m here, in your head.”
“I cannot figure it out, either. I also wonder why you only recently manifested.”
“What? Oh. I don’t know. I don’t remember a lot. I started thinking, seeing things; what must have been a few days ago. But I knew I was dead and I didn’t know what to make of it. When I kept hearing people call me ‘River,’ I sorta figured it out.”
“Went I dreamt I was you last night, I thought it was merely a dream. But these are new thoughts, new memories, and new experiences. I believe your consciousness, what Book would call a soul, was able to enter my mind as thoughts do. I wonder if all souls go searching for a new body when theirs meets an untimely demise.”
“Wouldn’t you… catch… more of them?”
“Since Miranda, I rarely see what I do not try to see. There are some thoughts that are too loud to block, however. Your trauma and proximity, in addition to your familiarity, would have made your consciousness very loud, but since you were in a state of unconsciousness, I could not hear your presence immediately.”
“So my brain sorta screamed as my body died? Seems like an appropriate reaction.”
There was silence in River’s mind for a few moments, like a lull in an audible conversation. She finally spoke again.
“What do I do now? Simon did not believe me when I told him you are sharing my mind. Even if there was a body for you, I do not know if your mind could travel in the opposite direction. I do not know if I can maintain your consciousness indefinitely, but I will try.”
“Thank you, River.” Wash paused. “Zoë… do you think she would believe you? I want to talk to her so badly.”
“I could try,” River offered, “But I cannot guarantee she would believe me. I do not know how to prove it is you. There is nothing I could tell her on your behalf that I couldn’t know otherwise, being a reader.”
There was no response for several moments, and River became worried. She believed now that Wash was somehow sharing her mind, and she was afraid of losing what was left of his presence. She picked up one of his plastic dinosaurs from the helm and played with it absently. Suddenly, a thought broke into her mind.
“I’m… tired. Rest, be back later.”
River smiled to herself, and Wash as well though he couldn’t see her face.
“Alright. Try not to hit Simon while you are flying in my sleep again, please, and I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.”
Title: Here In Spirt(Part 1)
Author: GateHobbit
Rating: PG
Characters: Wash and River, so far
Pairing: None
Summary: The voices are back, but this time they're much more familiar.
Notes: MAJOR BDM spoilers.
Disclaimer: Like action figures. Not the real thing, but fun to play with.
Cross-posted to
washfic“Watch… watch how.” River tossed in her sleep, her flailing arms catching Simon across the face. He woke with a start, not expecting to see her in his bunk.
“River, honey, wake up.” He grabbed her arms to still her. “River, it’s just a bad dream.” He looked at her worriedly as she slowly came to. She hadn’t had a nightmare since the Miranda incident, nearly a month ago now.
“Simon?”
He smoothed her hair, brushing away the haunted look in her deep, brown eyes as well.
“Sorry, Simon. She didn’t want to disturb you, but she had strange dreams last night and didn’t want to face them alone again.”
Simon sighed heavily- she was speaking in the third person again. “It’s okay, mei-mei. I’m here; you’re safe. It’s okay.” She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head.
“Invading her thoughts again. Not memories this time, though. Not fearful, not malicious. Hurt, sad, in pain.” She opened her eyes again, looking suddenly lucid. “Wash. He’s in there.”
“Wash is gone, River honey.”
She shook her head fiercely at his statement. “No! His soul took flight, as the phoenix from the ashes. Fled the fire and found refuge in a friendly land. I can hear him,” she insisted.
Simon sighed again and sat up, ready to reach for the smoothers he kept prepared for these kinds of situations. He had hoped he wouldn’t need to use them again.
“No needles, Simon. Please, no. I’ll go back to my bunk and close the door against the voices.” She stood, looking beseechingly at him. Before he could react, she slipped out the door like a shadow shifting in the night.
------
She quietly headed for the cockpit. Or rather, Wash did. It was his decision to seek the familiarity and comfort of the pilot’s seat, despite what had happened to him there. River listened to his thoughts in her head as if he was speaking aloud to her. He was surprised at the silence of her bare feet across the metal grating. He had never been very graceful, except when he was at the controls of a ship. It was odd for him to be in this body, and odd to be sharing it. Yet, it didn’t feel odd to sit in his chair again, looking out the view screens at the starry black.
“Why are you here? When one’s body ceases to live, the soul customarily accompanies it.” She thought her words, not needing to speak them and having no physical form to direct them to.
“Not exactly. Don’t believe in heaven or hell or any of that, do you?”
“There is no tangible evidence to support such theories.”
“I suppose I don’t count, huh?”
“You are not tangible. Could be a figment of the girl’s imagination. Could be wishful thinking, of her or the others. We miss you.”
“I doubt that’s entirely true of sentimental Jayne.”
“He misses you. Misses harassing you.”
“Lovely. Can’t say I miss being harassed, myself.”
“It is his preferred method of expression. He harasses Kaylee too. Taunts Simon, disobeys Captain, knows better than to mess with Inara and Zoë.”
“Smart man,” he replied, laughing ruefully. “Oh, Zoë. If I could just talk to her one last time. How is my warrior woman?”
“She mourns your passing. Tries to be brave, tries not to show it. The grief was so strong at first; I couldn’t block it out and it hurt so bad. It is quieter now, but still painful.”
“I wish I could see her. I hate that she’s hurting and it’s my fault.”
“Not your fault. You couldn’t have known. Besides, if it hadn’t happened, Captain wouldn’t have known to pull Zoë away from the next one. She is alive because of you.”
“She’s alive, and I can’t hold her or tell her I love her. I don’t even know why I’m here, in your head.”
“I cannot figure it out, either. I also wonder why you only recently manifested.”
“What? Oh. I don’t know. I don’t remember a lot. I started thinking, seeing things; what must have been a few days ago. But I knew I was dead and I didn’t know what to make of it. When I kept hearing people call me ‘River,’ I sorta figured it out.”
“Went I dreamt I was you last night, I thought it was merely a dream. But these are new thoughts, new memories, and new experiences. I believe your consciousness, what Book would call a soul, was able to enter my mind as thoughts do. I wonder if all souls go searching for a new body when theirs meets an untimely demise.”
“Wouldn’t you… catch… more of them?”
“Since Miranda, I rarely see what I do not try to see. There are some thoughts that are too loud to block, however. Your trauma and proximity, in addition to your familiarity, would have made your consciousness very loud, but since you were in a state of unconsciousness, I could not hear your presence immediately.”
“So my brain sorta screamed as my body died? Seems like an appropriate reaction.”
There was silence in River’s mind for a few moments, like a lull in an audible conversation. She finally spoke again.
“What do I do now? Simon did not believe me when I told him you are sharing my mind. Even if there was a body for you, I do not know if your mind could travel in the opposite direction. I do not know if I can maintain your consciousness indefinitely, but I will try.”
“Thank you, River.” Wash paused. “Zoë… do you think she would believe you? I want to talk to her so badly.”
“I could try,” River offered, “But I cannot guarantee she would believe me. I do not know how to prove it is you. There is nothing I could tell her on your behalf that I couldn’t know otherwise, being a reader.”
There was no response for several moments, and River became worried. She believed now that Wash was somehow sharing her mind, and she was afraid of losing what was left of his presence. She picked up one of his plastic dinosaurs from the helm and played with it absently. Suddenly, a thought broke into her mind.
“I’m… tired. Rest, be back later.”
River smiled to herself, and Wash as well though he couldn’t see her face.
“Alright. Try not to hit Simon while you are flying in my sleep again, please, and I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.”