FIC: En Route

[srichard.livejournal.com]

TITLE: En Route (Eighth in the Riverrun Series)
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: River/Mal
SUMMARY: River and Mal start getting a bit more comfortable together and have kisses!
NOTES: Serenity spoilers.



River had stopped having nightmares fairly soon after the heist on Bernadette, but one way or another it happened that Mal kept sleeping with her long after that. He hadn't meant to do it, that was for certain, but there was something about the warm comfort of River's soft body curled up against him that he just couldn't resist.

At first, he'd not been sure exactly how far off the charts of normal this was. Well, for her anyway. For him, obviously, it was pretty much out of the ballpark, but she was used to a lot of innocent masculine affection. So one night, en route to Persephone, he'd asked her if Simon had ever slept with her, and she'd given him that look and said something about lines being blurry, not crossed, and that probably meant no, so he guessed this was new for her too.

The kissing, she had started, though. Early in the morning, when she would first wake up, and he guessed she had lost her fondness for lying and thinking while others slept because she'd taken to waking him up with a kiss. Not a chaste good morning kiss, but moist, hot lips against his, going on for a good hour, often as not.

He'd continued it, though, it was true. After seeing how beautifully, perfectly relaxed she became when they kissed, he'd begun initiating it on the few occasions that she did have nightmares. When she woke up screaming his name (and there was some pleasure and also sorrow to the fact that it was his name and not Simon's), he would take her tightly into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless, her body limp and comfortable against his, and she was relaxed and pliant enough to return to sleep. It was exciting, that was certain, having that kind of power over his little albatross, to be able to do for her what no one, not even Simon had.

The morning before they landed on Persephone, River woke him up even earlier than usual, her mouth hot and insistent on his.

Mal groaned. "You got a grudge against my sleep, darlin'?" But he pulled her closer to him and let her kiss him as she would.

"Don't like today," she whispered. "Today all the potential becomes solid. You'll have to do what you tell him."

"River, this was your plan. You don't like it, we can find another way in...God knows I wouldn't be sorry about that."

"There is no other way. Too many guards, guns. This is the only way enough survive so that the reinforcements will have someone to join when they hear about it." River lowered her head, listening to his heartbeat. "Have to have a good plan, be strong, or no one else will follow."

"I know." He stroked her hair gently. "But I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, in a kind of heartbreaking vulnerability that it had been too long since anyone had seen.

"Have to have faith," she whispered, now mimicking the tattoo of his heartbeat with her fingers on his chest.

"In what?" he said, with a bitter laugh.

"Me." She lifted her head and looked down at him. "In me, Mal. Have to believe I can do this. Otherwise we all die for nothing."

"You make wrong sound right, River," he sighed, holding her close. They were silent for a while, and he added, "There are times, you make me wish I'd been a sumbitch bound for the special hell."

She made a little, inquiring noise, and he clarified. "Make me wish I'd taken advantage, as soon as you came on board this ship. Claimed you body and soul, made you mine..."

River shook her head. "Wasn't me then. Wasn't kisses to wake you up or flying true or anything you love. Was just fear, lost..."

"I should have found you," he said in a low voice.

"Mal...you did."

He stared up at her broodingly. "It's not enough time, though. If something happens, then it wasn't enough."

"Better do it right then," River supplied. "That means staying with the plan."

"All comes back to that, don't it?" he sighed.

She pushed her fingers slowly through his hair. "All the same, if you want to go to the special hell..."

"Oh, I do," he said honestly. "But not yet. Not until we get over that first hurdle, darlin', and then I'll be walkin' down that broad path to destruction good and proper." He stroked her face.

River nodded and moved to lie beside him, but her fingers were twined with his. "Do I have to go down today?"

Mal nodded. "Don't see him concedin' to come up on the ship, and I'll need you to read him, know his intentions as soon as possible. We're humped if he doesn't come on board..."

River nodded, and they stared up at the ceiling in companionable silence. "Remember when you almost died?"

"Have to be more specific, darlin'. I've nearly died far too many times since I met you, and a fair few before that, too." He turned his head to smile at her.

"When the ship broke, and you made us leave."

Just remembering that day made him wince, but he nodded. "Yeah, I remember."

"Didn't want to leave. And when we came back, I wanted to talk to you, touch you..."

"Why didn't—"

"Too many people, around you all the time. And you were afraid of me..." She shifted closer to him again, kissing the corner of his mouth. "You belonged to Kaylee and Inara and Zoe and Wash and Jayne..."

"You too," he said softly. "Even then. Just didn't know it."

"Miss them," she whispered. "But I like having you...be mine, too."

He turned so he was facing her properly. "River, you ain't thinkin' you wouldn't have me if they was here, are you? Because you're more than crew now, you know that..." He stroked her cheek gently with his fingertips.

"I know." She smiled, kissing him again. "It just took so long." In her voice, he could hear some of the same frustration he felt.

"Guess there's only one solution, darlin'. Have to make this work so's we have a little longer." He was becoming lost in her kisses again, and he had a feeling he wasn't going to be thinking about anything else for a good, long time.