ext_76890 ([identity profile] me-fein.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] firefly_fanfic 2006-04-04 05:54 am (UTC)

This was done really well! I do like the repetition and how you come back full circle. Fantastic!

One word I would suggest changing in this line:

She sees Mal’s home Shadow, now just a burned shell

To "burnt". My reason for it is because it sounds harsher, more painful (the strong "t" sound, versus the smoother "n" sound). Although, it's just my opinion. :)

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