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firefly_fanfic2005-12-20 07:14 pm
sorrelchestnut.livejournal.com) wrote in firefly_fanfic2005-12-20 07:14 pm
Learning to Swim 1/?
Title: Learning to Swim
Author: Sorrel
Pairing: Jayne/Simon, Mal/Simon, Mal/Inara
Summary: Simon slowly learns to adjust to his new abilities with help from some surprising sources.
Notes: Sequel to Ocean, which lives here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/ff_fanfic/194314.html.
~Part One~
Simon stretched out on his bunk, closed his eyes, and let his mind wander.
Zoë’s dreams were dark and wistful- sitting in her husband’s lap and watching the sky outside the front window. She remembered the utter joy that Wash found in the empty reaches of space, and in her remembering Simon was able to hold on to some of that peace, instead of his usual fear of the black.
Then she stood up, a spear somehow in her hand. His eyes were closed, and he was smiling, and for a moment he looked like Mal as she raised the spear high and-
Simon hurriedly withdrew from her mind, unwilling to watch the rest of it. Zoë was feeling guilty and grieving for her husband, and that ruined every peaceful thought and feeling she had. It would continue to do so for months, perhaps years, until she finally became at peace with his memory. Simon knew this instinctively, on a level where he couldn’t tell if it was psychic or just experience.
He drifted next over to Kaylee. Strawberry girl, River had once called her, and Simon understood now. Sensuality and sweetness, but not afraid to bite when need be. Her dreams were of sex, and Simon withdrew before he saw a face. Some things were just meant to stay private.
Inara was dreaming of sex as well, but this time Simon wasn’t fast enough to avoid seeing the person’s face. He would have recognized the broad shoulders anyway, even without the tangled emotions in her head when she thought of the man. Everyone knew why she was staying on the ship, and it wasn’t out of a sense of kinship with the crew.
Mal was dreaming of the war, and of Inara, and of Simon. Blood and pain and sweetness and heat, and it was all mixed up in his head. Simon wasn’t sure what Mal was feeling about who, and at the moment he didn’t want to try to figure it out. He moved on.
River was asleep, and her dreams were butterfly-quick and moth-silent, quiet fragments of images from hundreds of thousands of minds across the ‘verse. Asleep her head just opened up to everyone it could reach, and Simon knew that if he chose he could sift through the images, touch one or more that he recognized, maybe even read that person. Then again, maybe not. River’s reach was by far greater than his, and for that he was profoundly grateful. He was doing enough snooping with just the crew of Serenity.
He skipped to the last person on board, Jayne, and found him startlingly awake. The merc was sitting in the galley, staring at nothing, thinking about-
Quickly Simon withdrew and threw up some quick shields. Jayne had been thinking about a man, about sex with a man, and it was so startling that Simon sat in the dark in his bunk breathing too fast. Then he realized that he wasn’t going to be getting anymore sleep that night and climbed out of bed, pausing to grab a discarded t-shirt and pull it on. No reason to be meeting Jayne in sleep pants, especially after his unsettling revelation.
Jayne looked up and actually smiled when he came in. “Doc,” he said, his voice rough from the late hour and actually warm. “Good to see ya, even if it is this late. What’re you doin’ up an’ about at this hour, anyway?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Simon answered, and settled down across the table from the big man. The lights were low, and the whole situation seemed somewhat surreal, which was fitting with his life in general. “Can’t seem to turn off my brain.”
“You’ll learn,” Jayne said, but not without sympathy. “That sister of yours did, didn’t she?”
“How did-“ Simon started, then realized how foolish a question it was. “Of course. Mal.”
“Cap’n thought it might be a good idea if we knew what we was dealin’ with,” Jayne said. His voice didn’t change from the sleepy rumble into something more accusing, but Simon reacted defensively anyway.
“Another crazy Tam,” he said bitterly. “Ah well, at least you all have some experience.”
“Didn’t mean it like that,” Jayne said peaceably. “He jus’ wanted us to know so we wouldn’t do somethin’ crazy-like to you, not the other ways ‘round. He rounded us up and lectured us somethin’ fierce ‘bout upsettin’ you an’ all. I’d say it was almost cute, if it weren’t the cap’n we was talkin’ about.”
Simon looked up at him, startled, and saw something he’d never really seen in Jayne’s eyes before- a twinkling sort of mischief. It was startling enough that Simon let down his defensive guard enough to smile back at him, and in that moment he forgot and lost hold of his mental shields.
He flinched and snapped them back up again, then realized that there hadn’t been any flood of painful knowledge and emotion assaulting his mind. Curious, he slowly lowered the shields again, and then dropped them completely when he felt- nothing.
Or rather, almost nothing. There was a slow trickle of happy and fun and sleep coming from Jayne, but he couldn’t read his thoughts at all. A flicker-flash of the word Doc and a little mental grin, and absolutely no malice or ill-will at all.
He didn’t even realize that he’d reached across the table and touched Jayne’s face until he felt a flicker of surprise in his mind coming from Jayne. He flinched and snatched his hand back, flushing furiously.
“I’m so sorry-“
“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” Jayne said with a shrug. Simon’s shields were still fully down, and he was catching echoes of everyone’s dreams all across the ship, but still almost nothing from Jayne fully awake and sitting not two feet away from him. “Mind tellin’ me what it was about, though?”
Simon hunched his shoulders down a little, wondering if it was possible for him to feel even more embarrassed. Probably. “I just- I let my shields down,” he mumbled, knowing that he sounded like a complete mental patient, and that wasn’t too far off the mark, was it?
“To keep people outta your head,” Jayne said with a nod. “Mal was tellin’ us ‘bout it. What happened, I think too loud for you?”
“Quite the opposite,” Simon said, realizing in retrospect that of course the mental shields would have been mentioned in whatever Simon-related meeting Mal had held. If Mal hadn’t said anything, River probably would have. “I can barely hear anything from you. No thoughts at all.”
“Hey!” Jayne said, and a slow curl of anger singed at Simon. “You got no cause for callin’ me stupid an’ all, ‘specially when I’m bein’ all nice-like.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Simon said hastily. “I just meant I couldn’t hear them from you. I don’t know why, but it’s not because you’re stupid. I know better than that now.”
Jayne relaxed at once, smiling amiably again, completely forgetting his anger in the space of one breath to the next. “S’allright, then.”
Simon smiled tentatively back at him, and was rewarded with a full-fledged grin. An actual grin, from Jayne of all people, to him, Simon. It was almost unbelievable. Only almost, though. Simon had noticed a marked change in Jayne, after the Miranda event, before he himself had been captured. Jayne had believed in something, really believed, for the very first time, and it had done something to him, something that had eased the tensions between him and Simon. And now it seemed that Simon was reaping the rewards of that change now, because Jayne seemed completely comfortable with Psychic Simon sitting across the table from him, reading him. Jayne was the sort of man who hid nothing- had nothing to hide- and Simon was just now realizing how unique that was.
Simon was realizing a whole hell of a lot of things recently, and he kind of liked it. It was uncomfortable, turning all your preconceived notions upside-down, but he’d always been a fan of self-awareness, and these days he was increasing by leaps and bounds in that area.
Abruptly Jayne stood up and took his mug of- was that coffee? Since when did Jayne drink coffee?- over to the sink and rinsed it out. “I think I’m for bed,” Jayne said. “It’s late. You might wanna get yourself some sleep, too, Doc. Prolly harder to deal with it all when you’re tired.” And with that delightfully common-sense (and absolutely correct) bit of wisdom, Jayne nodded cordially at him and ambled out of the mess hall towards his bunk.
Simon tracked the sound of his booted footsteps down the corridor and listened for the small bit of reading that he could get. Jayne was smiling to himself, feeling happy and vaguely affectionate and a little smug with himself, as very as very sleepy and a little… aroused. What?
Oh.
Simon slammed his shields back up, blushing even darker before, and decided that now would be a good time to go to bed. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be able to think if he was asleep.
Somehow, though, he got a feeling that sleep would be a long time coming.
Author: Sorrel
Pairing: Jayne/Simon, Mal/Simon, Mal/Inara
Summary: Simon slowly learns to adjust to his new abilities with help from some surprising sources.
Notes: Sequel to Ocean, which lives here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/ff_fanfic/194314.html.
~Part One~
Simon stretched out on his bunk, closed his eyes, and let his mind wander.
Zoë’s dreams were dark and wistful- sitting in her husband’s lap and watching the sky outside the front window. She remembered the utter joy that Wash found in the empty reaches of space, and in her remembering Simon was able to hold on to some of that peace, instead of his usual fear of the black.
Then she stood up, a spear somehow in her hand. His eyes were closed, and he was smiling, and for a moment he looked like Mal as she raised the spear high and-
Simon hurriedly withdrew from her mind, unwilling to watch the rest of it. Zoë was feeling guilty and grieving for her husband, and that ruined every peaceful thought and feeling she had. It would continue to do so for months, perhaps years, until she finally became at peace with his memory. Simon knew this instinctively, on a level where he couldn’t tell if it was psychic or just experience.
He drifted next over to Kaylee. Strawberry girl, River had once called her, and Simon understood now. Sensuality and sweetness, but not afraid to bite when need be. Her dreams were of sex, and Simon withdrew before he saw a face. Some things were just meant to stay private.
Inara was dreaming of sex as well, but this time Simon wasn’t fast enough to avoid seeing the person’s face. He would have recognized the broad shoulders anyway, even without the tangled emotions in her head when she thought of the man. Everyone knew why she was staying on the ship, and it wasn’t out of a sense of kinship with the crew.
Mal was dreaming of the war, and of Inara, and of Simon. Blood and pain and sweetness and heat, and it was all mixed up in his head. Simon wasn’t sure what Mal was feeling about who, and at the moment he didn’t want to try to figure it out. He moved on.
River was asleep, and her dreams were butterfly-quick and moth-silent, quiet fragments of images from hundreds of thousands of minds across the ‘verse. Asleep her head just opened up to everyone it could reach, and Simon knew that if he chose he could sift through the images, touch one or more that he recognized, maybe even read that person. Then again, maybe not. River’s reach was by far greater than his, and for that he was profoundly grateful. He was doing enough snooping with just the crew of Serenity.
He skipped to the last person on board, Jayne, and found him startlingly awake. The merc was sitting in the galley, staring at nothing, thinking about-
Quickly Simon withdrew and threw up some quick shields. Jayne had been thinking about a man, about sex with a man, and it was so startling that Simon sat in the dark in his bunk breathing too fast. Then he realized that he wasn’t going to be getting anymore sleep that night and climbed out of bed, pausing to grab a discarded t-shirt and pull it on. No reason to be meeting Jayne in sleep pants, especially after his unsettling revelation.
Jayne looked up and actually smiled when he came in. “Doc,” he said, his voice rough from the late hour and actually warm. “Good to see ya, even if it is this late. What’re you doin’ up an’ about at this hour, anyway?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Simon answered, and settled down across the table from the big man. The lights were low, and the whole situation seemed somewhat surreal, which was fitting with his life in general. “Can’t seem to turn off my brain.”
“You’ll learn,” Jayne said, but not without sympathy. “That sister of yours did, didn’t she?”
“How did-“ Simon started, then realized how foolish a question it was. “Of course. Mal.”
“Cap’n thought it might be a good idea if we knew what we was dealin’ with,” Jayne said. His voice didn’t change from the sleepy rumble into something more accusing, but Simon reacted defensively anyway.
“Another crazy Tam,” he said bitterly. “Ah well, at least you all have some experience.”
“Didn’t mean it like that,” Jayne said peaceably. “He jus’ wanted us to know so we wouldn’t do somethin’ crazy-like to you, not the other ways ‘round. He rounded us up and lectured us somethin’ fierce ‘bout upsettin’ you an’ all. I’d say it was almost cute, if it weren’t the cap’n we was talkin’ about.”
Simon looked up at him, startled, and saw something he’d never really seen in Jayne’s eyes before- a twinkling sort of mischief. It was startling enough that Simon let down his defensive guard enough to smile back at him, and in that moment he forgot and lost hold of his mental shields.
He flinched and snapped them back up again, then realized that there hadn’t been any flood of painful knowledge and emotion assaulting his mind. Curious, he slowly lowered the shields again, and then dropped them completely when he felt- nothing.
Or rather, almost nothing. There was a slow trickle of happy and fun and sleep coming from Jayne, but he couldn’t read his thoughts at all. A flicker-flash of the word Doc and a little mental grin, and absolutely no malice or ill-will at all.
He didn’t even realize that he’d reached across the table and touched Jayne’s face until he felt a flicker of surprise in his mind coming from Jayne. He flinched and snatched his hand back, flushing furiously.
“I’m so sorry-“
“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” Jayne said with a shrug. Simon’s shields were still fully down, and he was catching echoes of everyone’s dreams all across the ship, but still almost nothing from Jayne fully awake and sitting not two feet away from him. “Mind tellin’ me what it was about, though?”
Simon hunched his shoulders down a little, wondering if it was possible for him to feel even more embarrassed. Probably. “I just- I let my shields down,” he mumbled, knowing that he sounded like a complete mental patient, and that wasn’t too far off the mark, was it?
“To keep people outta your head,” Jayne said with a nod. “Mal was tellin’ us ‘bout it. What happened, I think too loud for you?”
“Quite the opposite,” Simon said, realizing in retrospect that of course the mental shields would have been mentioned in whatever Simon-related meeting Mal had held. If Mal hadn’t said anything, River probably would have. “I can barely hear anything from you. No thoughts at all.”
“Hey!” Jayne said, and a slow curl of anger singed at Simon. “You got no cause for callin’ me stupid an’ all, ‘specially when I’m bein’ all nice-like.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Simon said hastily. “I just meant I couldn’t hear them from you. I don’t know why, but it’s not because you’re stupid. I know better than that now.”
Jayne relaxed at once, smiling amiably again, completely forgetting his anger in the space of one breath to the next. “S’allright, then.”
Simon smiled tentatively back at him, and was rewarded with a full-fledged grin. An actual grin, from Jayne of all people, to him, Simon. It was almost unbelievable. Only almost, though. Simon had noticed a marked change in Jayne, after the Miranda event, before he himself had been captured. Jayne had believed in something, really believed, for the very first time, and it had done something to him, something that had eased the tensions between him and Simon. And now it seemed that Simon was reaping the rewards of that change now, because Jayne seemed completely comfortable with Psychic Simon sitting across the table from him, reading him. Jayne was the sort of man who hid nothing- had nothing to hide- and Simon was just now realizing how unique that was.
Simon was realizing a whole hell of a lot of things recently, and he kind of liked it. It was uncomfortable, turning all your preconceived notions upside-down, but he’d always been a fan of self-awareness, and these days he was increasing by leaps and bounds in that area.
Abruptly Jayne stood up and took his mug of- was that coffee? Since when did Jayne drink coffee?- over to the sink and rinsed it out. “I think I’m for bed,” Jayne said. “It’s late. You might wanna get yourself some sleep, too, Doc. Prolly harder to deal with it all when you’re tired.” And with that delightfully common-sense (and absolutely correct) bit of wisdom, Jayne nodded cordially at him and ambled out of the mess hall towards his bunk.
Simon tracked the sound of his booted footsteps down the corridor and listened for the small bit of reading that he could get. Jayne was smiling to himself, feeling happy and vaguely affectionate and a little smug with himself, as very as very sleepy and a little… aroused. What?
Oh.
Simon slammed his shields back up, blushing even darker before, and decided that now would be a good time to go to bed. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be able to think if he was asleep.
Somehow, though, he got a feeling that sleep would be a long time coming.