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firefly_fanficTitle: First times, second chances 5/5
Author: Annuette
Summary: When the object of his affections seems intent on pushing him aside, Simon finds comfort and mutual lust in what should be a one-time thing.
Rating: NC17
Characters: Simon, Jayne, Mal, Kaylee, River plus Spike from btvs
Pairing: slash Simon/Jayne, Simon/Spike
Warning: crossover fic in Firefly universe
Spoilers/Timeline: After Firefly but before Serenity.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This fanfic is completed. Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
noandwhere who kindly betad for me (Cheers hon *hugs*)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Simon sincerely hopes dinner will be a more mundane affair then it has for the last two days, but somehow he doubts it. Resting his arms on the rail of the upper level cargo hold, he stares at their newest and oddest cargo to date-dogs. Puppies to be exact and more then just pedigree ones according to Mal; the eight bitches and dogs were among the rarest of breeds and highly sought amongst the Core. Hence why the owner was a tad nervous at having them transported on a Firefly; according to Zoe only Mal’s reputation as a man of honour (when it came to jobs) was what convinced the owner to trust them rather then the more pricey, more unscrupulous offers.
One of the puppies yelps and Simon watches as his sister picks it up, murmuring gently to it as she cuddles it against her chest. Whatever River is saying calms the pup and Simon can’t help but wonder at the positive effect their cargo is having on his disturbed sister. Not only is River the only person who can calm the pups but being amongst them is holding her nightmares at bay-she doesn’t even seem to notice the pain of her healing ear infection.
Surrounded by puppies, some of which try climbing onto her crossed legs, River seems at peace as she hums a tune Simon doesn’t recognize. He finds it odd in a way that she’s so happy to be ‘caged’ inside the pups large enclosure, but she’s been there for hours now. Even Mal wasn’t able to convince her to move for long and hearing the howls that her leaving brought, he hurriedly manoeuvred her back into the hold.
“River?”
A soft smile plays on Simon’s lips as Kaylee steps into the enclosure, moving towards his sister and muttering to her. The hand that trails over River’s shoulder and gently down her arm should have Simon immediately on guard-God knows he would be if the action was by anyone but Kaylee. But the mechanic’s touch is gentle, her presence obviously welcome by the joyous smile on River’s face as she tilts her head up to look. The two don’t speak, just sit in comfortable silence, Kaylee cross-legged and opposite River as the two stroke and pet the puppies.
Occasionally Simon notices Kaylee’s hand hesitantly wander to touch River’s leg, her arm, any part she can within the boundaries of appearing tactile and nothing more. He wants to tell Kaylee that River’s smiles, her laughs, the way her eyes light up when Kaylee is near; they’re all indications that his sister reciprocates the interest. But River’s still so broken and Simon daren’t let anything else hurt her; no matter how much he trusts and values Kaylee; River came first-she always comes first, the thought is fleeting, yet more determined then bitter. Never once has he felt bitter towards River, angry that he’s become committed to a fugitives life-she’s his sister and to Simon there’s no one more important.
Kaylee comes close, Jayne….Simon shakes his head not liking where those thoughts are leading him, the last thing he wants to do is start musing over Jayne, especially with Spike still on board. And with the tension as unbearable as it is.
The first morning Spike was aboard Jayne never appeared for breakfast; Simon hadn’t been too worried over it, in fact he’d been relieved after Spike and Jayne’s confrontation, especially after the last words the mercenary had spoken to him. Guilt inducing words which had Simon shaking his head at himself for feeling that way about hurting the feelings of a man who’d sooner see him sold to the Alliance then aboard the ship. That had wanted them returned to the Alliance, of late Jayne’s requests to Mal had dwindled that Simon had seen from himself but he expected them to start up again now.
“Penny for them.”
Simon manages to bite back a yelp, startled by the husky voice in his ear. Turning to look at Spike, he catches the mischievous look before the other man can school his features into a more innocent one. Simon’s noticed how stealthy Spike can be of late and whilst the man’s not entered his bunk yet he has managed to be in every other off-limits place that Simon’s been in.
Emerging from shadows, sloping silently into the corridors…. Simon wonders if Spike enjoys the game of cat and mouse Mal’s rules have inadvertently brought about. Simon knows he enjoys it, he’s never been such an exhibitionist in his life and each time Spike catches up with him he can’t help but do something that makes his toes curl. Even if he feels confused and uneasy afterwards, his eyes always checking that there’s no sign of Jayne.
In the infirmary Spike had caught Simon off guard whilst he was cataloguing inventory and had been down on his knees in front of him before the doctor could say hello. How Wash hadn’t guessed what was going on Simon wasn’t sure but he’d managed a half-hearted wave and a strangled smile to the pilot from the windows as he passed, even as Spike’s mouth had teased him.
Then came the corridor, Spike’s temporary bunk, the infirmary again and now the cargo hold- Simon can see it in the gleam in Spike’s eyes.
“My thoughts?” Simon asks, assuming that’s what Spike means. Having spent so much time with him, he’s is starting to understand what Spike’s odd sayings actually mean.
His eyes move from Spike down to the puppy covered women below; neither notice that he’s above them, that they are now above them, which is probably good since one of them would inadvertently say something to clue Mal in. “I’m watching them. River, she’s so fragile, fragmented yet strangely-” he pauses, the softly spoken words hanging in the air.
“Perceptive?”
The word is so apt, Simon can’t help but glance at Spike. Spike and River had only exchanged a few words, both Mal and Simon agreeing it was better for her to remain hidden in case Spike realized who she was and decided to cash in on the Alliance reward. Simon hadn’t thought it likely, but with River he had to remain guarded and vigilant. Much as he loves his sister, Simon is in no way blind when it comes to seeing her slightly freaky behaviour, and how off putting it can be.
River had other ideas. She’d accosted them in the corridor chattering insanely about powers and champions, to the stunned looking Spike.
“Not all there, away with the fairies and all that rot.” Spike’s speaking just as softly but observing River with thoughtful eyes as if he knows something Simon does not. But then Simon cannot see the slight flickering of River’s eyes; can’t see her watching them using reflections rather then turning and staring their way-whereas Spike notices.
“She has her moments, but she’s really quite lucid right now. Much calmer these last two days; I remember reading something on animals and people with illnesses on the Cortex when I was much younger, but given that River tends to frighten animals when she-” Simon hesitates, then pushes himself away from the bars. He doesn’t want to catch River’s attention, to have her unsettle Spike as she did before. It‘s been a few hours since he‘s seen the man, courtesy of Mal’s demands for an inventory and checking on River every half an hour.
“Wouldn’t think the kid scares them, not given the whelps' behaviour towards her.”
“She scared cows once,” a smiles on Simon’s lips as he remembers, “She said they weren’t cows, didn’t remember that they were until they looked up and saw the sky.”
Spike shifts, his body pressing Simon back against the bars, holding him in place though the metal doesn’t grate against Simon’s back. “Bit of a poet your little sis,”
“She has a more capricious side to her too; sometimes I wonder if she can’t see into them, become a part of them.” Simon purses his lips, cutting off the rest of his thoughts, his ramblings on River being psychic.
Even without Simon saying the words, Spike guesses what he’s thinking as though he’s the psychic, not River, “Words are just words sometimes, luv. Nothing to them but that, no hidden meanings, no prophecies, just words. Your sister's smart, damn screwy an’ scary too there’s no doubt but doesn’t mean she knows everything.” His eyes drift behind Simon as his hand slips down to intertwine with the doctor’s, his thumb caressing his palm. “Everyone’s got secrets.”
“Even you?” It’s as close as Simon can come to asking, to voicing all the questions that have been burnt into his mind since meeting Spike, all the questions which were so cleverly distracted by arousal, seduction and sex.
As if true to form, Spike’s mouth is at his ear taking the sensitive earlobe between his teeth and nipping it gently, “Even me, pet. Some secrets you find, other’s you won’t.”
There’s a silent warning in the last word, in the tone of it, and Simon can’t help but shiver at it’s dark quality. It advises caution and promises danger, but is still erotically enticing. Too curious by far Simon’s almost compelled to ask, to break the silent spell that Spike has woven though the other man must sense this since his hands are now skirting Simon’s body, teasing the doctor with the promise of sex on the grounds that the conversation is forgotten.
Simon can’t forget. But there’s no way those skilful hands are going anywhere but on him, no chance he’ll open his mouth now and spoil the moment. Groaning into Spike’s mouth as the blond man kisses him possessively, Simon’s hands clench his buttocks kneading the toned the flesh. Their tongues engaged in a passionately dance, neither notice as first River then Kaylee with an ‘eep’ and blush leave the cargo hold.
Simon knows he should resist, should go back to acting the dignified fellow but Spike’s kisses could make even the most icy melt. Spike pushes him back against the bar, nipping and sucking at Simon’s neck and chest until he’s holding on for support, his flies parting under the blond’s nimble fingers. As coolness encircles his hardening cock, Simon bites back a cry and trembles against the urge to thrust forward to bury himself in Spike’s mouth and take his pleasure quickly; he wants to reciprocate but Spike’s fingers are massaging his balls, urging his body to do as it wishes rather than enjoy the sensations and revel in the moment.
Simon’s panting now, one hand in Spike’s hair as he thrusts forward into the man’s mouth. His eyes open, his gazes catches the dark objects by the side of the stairwell placed strategically where no one will trip.
Jayne’s weights.
Simon’s heart rate jumps and he feels his cock softening as the sight of the innocuous equipment has its effect on him. The mere thought of the mercenary has him ill-at-ease and feeling sordid and soiled; it's almost as though he’s cheating on a long time lover but that in itself is laughable since Simon knows Jayne wants nothing to do with him. In fact he’s sure if Jayne did, it would be nothing but a quick rut to get it out the man’s system.
Exhibitionist as he may be of late, the cargo hold is Jayne’s second home and it almost feels like a violation for them to be in it.
“Simon?”
The question in Spike’s voice has Simon groaning as he looks down to see the blond looking back up at him, Simon’s barely hard cock now in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Simon can feel the blush heating his cheeks and he stammers over his next words, “I can’t do this, I just don’t feel right with it, with River so close-” he breaks off his sentence as he turns around seeing his sister and friend gone, his excuse gone. His hands are trembling as he buttons himself back up, the fun he hasn’t minded sharing up till now tainted by the thought of Jayne. By Simon’s attraction and feeling towards the man.
“No worries,” Spike’s grinning as he gets to his feet, commiserating Simon as he wraps an arm around him, “An’ no brooding either or you’ll be giving to the poof a run for his money. Told you before Simon, it’s just shagging. Don’t want no fancy words, declarations and I’ve got no expectations so you needn’t worry.”
Simon can’t quite believe what he’s hearing and is still unable to stop blushing, “You’re not offended?”
Spike laughs throatily, “Not in the slightest. We had a good run, besides your bloke’s getting a bit twitchy-reckon it might be time for you to do what your heart desires, then you might get what your body wants.”
“You…what?” Simon’s confused, at least he looks confused and more so by Spike’s attitude then the heart flipping idea of approaching Jayne. “You’re the most unique person I think I’ve ever met Spike.” He finally manages to get out as Spike continues to squeeze him in a one arm hug, “And I sincerely hope you get what you want.” Who you want, Simon thinks.
“I hope we both do, Simon,” Spike squeezes his hand as he breaks away, “Think I better be getting back to my bunk before your bloke comes after me with one of the fancy guns he keeps waving in my direction at tea.”
“That may be wise.” Simon hides a smile; his stomach may be churning at the idea of actually speaking to Jayne, at ‘having it out’ as Spike would say, but he can’t help interjecting a little light heartedness into their conversation. “ Knowing River she’s gone after anything that can record images and the last thing we need is Jayne seeing me naked before I see him.”
****
No one else knew of his and Spike’s new understanding, or of the compassion and depth that the other man could show. Perhaps if Jayne knew how Spike believes I should pursue him, Simon mused, he may not be acting like such a boar, so arrogant and graceless towards Spike.
Simon’s staring down at his plate as he uses his fork to toy with the food. He’s trying exceedingly hard to ignore the conversation around him despite Kaylee kicking him on the shin every few minutes to get his attention, hoping that Simon can calm the volatile atmosphere. The evening meal has turned from a tension filled, uneasy dinner to an all out contest; with both Spike and Jayne tossing innuendos and comments at each other ranging from insulting virility, to family and personal hygiene.
About ten minutes in Mal had finally got sick of saying, “No damn pissin’ matches on my boat” and settled for stomping grumpily off in the direction of his bunk. Less then two minutes later Wash had steered Zoe off before the second in command fetched her pistol and blew both men “a new hole in their pigus” as she so easily threatens.
Simon bit his lip, holding in the curses as he glares across the table at Kaylee; she looks apologetic but flicks her eyes to Inara who is not looking in amused in the slightest, in fact when the Companion catches his eye Simon thinks she can see a flash of something akin to sympathy in her eyes.
“Didn’t you ever hear the old saying, ‘a rose by any other name, would still smell as sweet‘?” Inara’s voice is soft, culture and poise showing as she appears the embodiment of serenity, yet the annoyance which flashes in her eyes is clear.
Jayne snorts, “How about niou-fun still bein’ shit?”
Inara purses her lips together, her appreciation of the joke not showing although Kaylee bites back a laugh. Ever the lady, Inara folds her napkin and sets it sedately by her plate, “And on that note, my appetite is gone. It was very nice to meet you…Spike.” Inara pauses over his name, a grimace coming to her lips at the smirk on Jayne’s face.
“Nice to meet you too ducks.” The seductive smile on Spike’s face doesn’t inspire any jealousy in Simon at all, much as Jayne quickly glances at him to gauge his reaction.
“Good night.” The words are harsh, almost as though Inara is reprimanding them all before she glides from the room, glad to be free of the joviality and rudeness.
“So is it a nickname or summit?” Kaylee’s genuinely interested now as she looks at Spike, having jumped off Jayne’s innuendo bandwagon.
“Yeah you named after the somethin’ in your pants that’s gonna lube Kaylee as she pants o’er you an’ the doc?” Jayne’s back on the innuendos again, openly sneering at Spike; now having realised the hilarity of Spike’s name when compared to the profession that Jayne and Mal had thought he belonged to.
Kaylee’s glower is as intense as Simon’s now, “Jayne that ain’t funny, I’m just being polite an’ wonderin’ is all. Not all of us got your kind of mind you know.”
“His is in the gutter, don’t take it too much to heart.” Spike’s smiling at Kaylee now, a lazy flirtatious smile that can weaken knees and Simon can just see it all starting again-can see Jayne bristling, his face set in a scowl. Jayne’s comments, some of which are pure filth and too vulgar for Simon to want tooto listen to verses Spike’s beguiling smiles and lazy answers; the more Jayne baits, the less Spike reacts and the crazier it drives the mercenary.
Kaylee found it funny at first, whilst Simon just found it too embarrassing especially since he was always dragged in, either through mention or kick, to the burgeoning war. River on the other hand was playing both sides. It’s taken Simon a while to notice, but his little sister is definitely using her intelligence for this one, appearing to interject innocent comments and questions which ensure that the tension between Spike and Jayne remains palpable and never dissolves back down to quiet unrest.
“I like William better.” River’s comment is thoughtful, a sweet smile on her lips as she speaks.
That was his mei-mei, now back firmly in the land of distorted ramblings and for that Simon is relieved. Maybe now the comments will die down and they can finish dinner in a civilised manner. His eyes on River, he misses the shock on Spike’s face, the narrowing of his eyes as Spike reassesses her.
“It’s a lovely name River but Spike already has a name, you can’t rename him.” Simon speaks gently not wanting to upset her into a possible fit; he remembers the time she rewrote the Shepherd’s bible and renamed all of Wash’s dinosaurs- he’d dealt with two very unhappy men for over a week.
River rolls her eyes at him as if knowing something he doesn’t or perhaps being superior to him but Simon’s used to it River perfected that look before she hit puberty.
“Means protector, boy's name from the Earth-that-was, Champions, name from Earth-that-was.” River’s voice is lilting as if about to recite a poem or Haiku, “Only fitting.”
Throwing Spike a contrite look, Simon notices the uneasy frown on his face and hastens to assure him, “She doesn’t mean it. You won’t wake up with the name tattooed across your forehead.” As Wash had found on all his dinosaurs. “I can assure you.”
“Sounds like a sissy kinda name to me.” Jayne’s apparently disgusted by the idea, sneering into his drinking cup as though its left a bad taste in his mouth.
“Jayne’s a girl’s name.” River’s response is automatic and bland as it can be but Simon is sure he can see a glimmer of mischief in her eyes and he groans audibly; the noise is drowned out in part by Spike and Kaylee’s laughter and in part by the crash of Jayne’s fist, as the man slams it onto the table.
“I told you once an’ I’m telling’ ya again, I ain’t named after no girl or got the gorram parts to match. An’ I can prove it, told yer I’d damn well show you what parts I got if she went an’ started this go se again!” Jayne’s indignation is visible and Simon’s shaking his head in amused disbelief,
“There’s being crude and then there’s you. Jayne, congratulations, I’ve lost my appetite too.” Simon looks around the table, from Jayne’s angry face with the hands on his flies to disprove what River’s saying, to both Kaylee and Spike who swallow their laughter and smoother their smiles.
“She’s besmirching my name, doc.” There’s a whine to Jayne’s voice that has Simon barely able to keep his composure, the smile threatening at the corner of his mouth.
“River,” Simon’s looking at his sister now. She is the picture of innocence, her head turning towards him as if curious but Simon can see what she’s trying to do, whipping up the animosity between Jayne and Spike, though for what reason Simon’s not sure. The obvious, that she dislikes Jayne, seems redundant now given that River’s playing both men equally off against each other. Perhaps she finds humour in it, Simon thinks clearing his voice before he speaks and standing up.
“River I can assure as Jayne’s physician, I’ve had to stitch him up, treat his wounds and focus on keeping him, along with every other person aboard this ship, in good health. That said I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate when I can quite clearly state, with some emphasis, that Jayne is not a girl and has no hint of any female parts anywhere.” Simon’s blushing now, unable to meet anyone’s eyes but River's though his peripheral vision tells him that Jayne’s nodding.
“Which I hope satisfies every one's curiosity and stops us having to witness the insanity bringing image of Jayne proving it himself.”
The blush is deeper now since Simon’s having vivid mental images of Jayne in the infirmary, with no top on, with no trousers on and with no underwear on when the mercenary just wasn’t sure what the rash was. At the time, he’d been more focused on doing his job, now he was more focused on other things.
And damn if River isn’t laughing at him, silently laughing but it’s still laughing and Simon’s just grasped why. Having a sister who can read minds doesn’t always lead to the most ideal of situations as Simon’s suddenly perceiving. He sinks back down to his chair, unable to hold back the sigh as Jayne finds something else to laugh about.
“I best be packing.”
Simon looks up, startled by the sudden change in conversation and Spike, ignoring all Jayne’s remarks and motions, fixes his gaze on Simon.
“Packing?” He feels stupid the moment he says it and groans inwardly at the look of amusement on Spike’s face.
“Packing the rest of my gear. Didn’t unpack much but your pal,” Spike thumbs the direction Mal’s gone, “Said we’re only an hour or so from Helios and much as I’d love to stay and chat, Angel will be waiting for me.”
“Angel-” Jayne’s laugh is cut off with a cry as River indiscreetly kicks him under the table, her long legs supple and easily reaching their mark. “Gorramit River-girl!”
Spike throws her a grin as he stands up, “Cheers kid, next time make it a bit higher yeah?” His eyes swivel to Simon’s along with everyone else’s as he carelessly adds, “See you in the hold in an hour Simon? Got something to ask you before I leave, might be something you want to consider if things don’t pan out here.”
He offers Simon a wink, everyone’s eyes on the doctor as their expressions range from uncertainty (River) to horror (Kaylee) and anger (most definitely Jayne). Only Simon watches Spike saunter from the room, a thoughtful look settling over his face. He knows Spike means nothing by the comment and from one quick glance around guesses that Spike is ingeniously playing them all-attempting to force Jayne’s hand or possibly even Simon’s own into denying it, denying he’d ever consider leaving Serenity for Spike.
Evil as it may have been and devilish as it is, Simon has no intention of reassuring anyone. Instead he leaves them all to ponder, slipping from his seat with a soft, “Excuse me.” as he follows Spike.
Spike’s not got that much of a head start but Simon pauses in the corridor, unsure what he’s waiting for. No that’s a fallacy, he knows what he’s waiting for but he’s not sure he’ll get what he hopes. Instead of chasing after Spike, he’s leaning against the wall hoping the Jayne will come after him, will stop him.
He’s too far from the dining area to hear the drama unfolding there; his heart beating erratically Simon’s trying to get his stomach under control as it churns wildly at the thought of what could happen.
Starting to have doubts, Simon can’t see the look of fury on Jayne’s face as he spits out his belief to Kaylee,
“No way.” Jayne’s fists are clenched as he stands up, barely able to restrain his own ire at her opinion.
Kaylee’s reassurances fall on death ears as River fuels Jayne’s fears; whether she is genuine or rambling the man doesn’t know but River’s words are enough to strike him cold, and he freezes listening to her wails as Kaylee tries to comfort and calm her.
“Bao bei, shhh, its okay Simon ain’t never gonna leave you.” Kaylee’s stroking her hair and holding her still as she writhes.
“It hurts, he hurts. He’s going to take Simon, take him away where blood runs red and the darkness comes. Stealing him if Simon says yes, he’ll make a kitten such a pretty kitten but it won’t be Simon!”
Something flares in Jayne’s, something close to primal that quiets River and has her whimpering in Kaylee’s arms, “Choo fay wuh suh luh,” the mercenary growls before turning on his heel and striding from the room.
So taken aback Kaylee doesn’t notice the faint smile on River’s lips, she just holds her tightly whilst her hands stroke her back, hoping that what River speaks of will never happen.
****
“You ain’t leavin’”
So deeply entrapped in his own musings and paranoia Simon is startled by the barely growled out words. He blinks in confusion, then inches to one side, looking past Jayne to the empty corridor either side of him, “Excuse me?”
“I said you ain’t leavin’, we’ve go unfinished business you an’ me.” Jayne’s glowering now, arms folded over his chest as he attempts to stare Simon down.
The whole conversation throws Simon a little, but regardless of the confusion he feels a small fission of excitement unfurl in his belly as he wonders if what unfinished business. His mouth is dry and a queasy feeling is settling in his stomach but Simon forces the word out. “Business?”
Jayne’s nodding now but Simon can see a panicked look in his eyes, as if the merc has the sudden urge to bolt and it disheartens him. Had he known Jayne has the urge to throw Simon over his shoulder and lock him up in his bunk till Spike leaves, Simon would not have been so.
“I see.” Jayne’s still not elaborating and the sinking feeling in Simon’s chest is only increasing. He can’t believe how upset he feels at the simple knowledge that Jayne can’t or won’t ask him to stay. “Well tempting as your silence is to consider, I’ll bear your apparent loathing of me up against Spike’s generous offer-whatever it may be.”
Sidestepping past Jayne, Simon is in no way prepared when the mercenary pushes him against the wall, one leg parting Simon’s and trapping him firmly there.
“Chur ni-duh Simon for makin’ me say this.” Jayne is scowling now, the expression not the only thing holding Simon in place, much as he wants to walk away. Jayne’s hand is on his shoulder, it has been squeezing but now it is caressing almost as though soothing the skin in case it has been bruised.
Blue eyes lock as the men stare at each other; Simon trying to understand Jayne’s meaning, dejection and hope both confusing him as he does but Jayne’s expression is unreadable, an odd emotion that Simon can’t place shining in his eyes.
“I ain’t funnin’ with you now, you gotta believe me on that but I ain’t good with all them fancy words an’ that.” Jayne pauses, “So I ain’t gonna say much but I ain’t after no quick rut with you just to even the score, that ain’t me an’ it won’t be you neither. But fancy and pretty? Not me, can’t do that stuff an’ can’t understand it.”
Simon swallows hard readying himself for the rejection he knows is about to happen; he wants to say something, maybe joke and lighten the tense atmosphere or put in some quick comment that will have Jayne snapping at him again. He’d rather the snappish, annoying man that was quick to insult rather than one who’s publicly turned him down.
“Look at me Simon.”
Jayne’s words are harsh, but as Simon looks up he catches the fleeting worry in them and he realises Jayne’s just as anxious as he is, maybe even just as nervous and unsure. It's this that keeps the doctor’s eyes on Jayne, keeps his attention from being purposefully diverted and stops Simon making the biggest mistake by saying the wrong thing. So for once, Simon Tam keeps quiet.
And it’s worth it.
Softly, Jayne presses his lips on Simon’s, the warmth of them the only thing that shocks Simon out of his astonishment. Hesitantly Jayne pulls back as a look of wonderment sweeps across Simon’s face and spurned on by that the man leans in for another kiss, this one longer and deeper then before. Closing his eyes Simon melts into the kiss, uncertainty making for hesitant exploration as he massages Jayne’s tongue with his own. The nervousness is short lived though as Jayne’s also seems to fade, the other man deepening the kiss as his hand cups Simon’s jaw.
Simon gasps softly as Jayne grinds up against him splaying him between the man and the wall, his body aching but his mind no longer confused. This is who he wants, Jayne’s always been who he wants and Jayne’s always been the one who can have him-it's just taken the merc a while to realize what he wants for himself.
Breaking off the kiss, Jayne gives him a stern look. “You know this means, you ain’t goin’ nowhere right? Or do I have to shackle ya up in my bunk?”
The blush that alights on Simon’s face is nothing in comparison to the cock hardening against Jayne’s leg but instead of replying he follows Jayne’s example and leans forward, claiming Jayne’s mouth in a deep kiss that has both men hardening. Exhibitionist as he may have been with Spike, and passionate as his responses were, they pale somewhat in comparison to Simon’s response to Jayne.
Usually more reserved Simon can’t understand what brings out such wanton behaviour in him. Jayne touches and caresses are masterful, as though the man is skilled at the art of seduction, but Simon himself has been schooled into proper and seemly behaviour from such a young age and should be able to resist. Jayne’s kisses are more tender then he ever expected, the reality better then dreaming.
Jayne’s voice, his scent and manner it all drives Simon to distraction, almost to the brink of insanity; actually having him now, in his arms or albeit being in Jayne’s arms, isn’t so much like scratching an itch or closing a book-it’s like opening one at the beginning and starting anew.
Author: Annuette
Summary: When the object of his affections seems intent on pushing him aside, Simon finds comfort and mutual lust in what should be a one-time thing.
Rating: NC17
Characters: Simon, Jayne, Mal, Kaylee, River plus Spike from btvs
Pairing: slash Simon/Jayne, Simon/Spike
Warning: crossover fic in Firefly universe
Spoilers/Timeline: After Firefly but before Serenity.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This fanfic is completed. Thanks to
noandwhere who kindly betad for me (Cheers hon *hugs*) Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Simon sincerely hopes dinner will be a more mundane affair then it has for the last two days, but somehow he doubts it. Resting his arms on the rail of the upper level cargo hold, he stares at their newest and oddest cargo to date-dogs. Puppies to be exact and more then just pedigree ones according to Mal; the eight bitches and dogs were among the rarest of breeds and highly sought amongst the Core. Hence why the owner was a tad nervous at having them transported on a Firefly; according to Zoe only Mal’s reputation as a man of honour (when it came to jobs) was what convinced the owner to trust them rather then the more pricey, more unscrupulous offers.
One of the puppies yelps and Simon watches as his sister picks it up, murmuring gently to it as she cuddles it against her chest. Whatever River is saying calms the pup and Simon can’t help but wonder at the positive effect their cargo is having on his disturbed sister. Not only is River the only person who can calm the pups but being amongst them is holding her nightmares at bay-she doesn’t even seem to notice the pain of her healing ear infection.
Surrounded by puppies, some of which try climbing onto her crossed legs, River seems at peace as she hums a tune Simon doesn’t recognize. He finds it odd in a way that she’s so happy to be ‘caged’ inside the pups large enclosure, but she’s been there for hours now. Even Mal wasn’t able to convince her to move for long and hearing the howls that her leaving brought, he hurriedly manoeuvred her back into the hold.
“River?”
A soft smile plays on Simon’s lips as Kaylee steps into the enclosure, moving towards his sister and muttering to her. The hand that trails over River’s shoulder and gently down her arm should have Simon immediately on guard-God knows he would be if the action was by anyone but Kaylee. But the mechanic’s touch is gentle, her presence obviously welcome by the joyous smile on River’s face as she tilts her head up to look. The two don’t speak, just sit in comfortable silence, Kaylee cross-legged and opposite River as the two stroke and pet the puppies.
Occasionally Simon notices Kaylee’s hand hesitantly wander to touch River’s leg, her arm, any part she can within the boundaries of appearing tactile and nothing more. He wants to tell Kaylee that River’s smiles, her laughs, the way her eyes light up when Kaylee is near; they’re all indications that his sister reciprocates the interest. But River’s still so broken and Simon daren’t let anything else hurt her; no matter how much he trusts and values Kaylee; River came first-she always comes first, the thought is fleeting, yet more determined then bitter. Never once has he felt bitter towards River, angry that he’s become committed to a fugitives life-she’s his sister and to Simon there’s no one more important.
Kaylee comes close, Jayne….Simon shakes his head not liking where those thoughts are leading him, the last thing he wants to do is start musing over Jayne, especially with Spike still on board. And with the tension as unbearable as it is.
The first morning Spike was aboard Jayne never appeared for breakfast; Simon hadn’t been too worried over it, in fact he’d been relieved after Spike and Jayne’s confrontation, especially after the last words the mercenary had spoken to him. Guilt inducing words which had Simon shaking his head at himself for feeling that way about hurting the feelings of a man who’d sooner see him sold to the Alliance then aboard the ship. That had wanted them returned to the Alliance, of late Jayne’s requests to Mal had dwindled that Simon had seen from himself but he expected them to start up again now.
“Penny for them.”
Simon manages to bite back a yelp, startled by the husky voice in his ear. Turning to look at Spike, he catches the mischievous look before the other man can school his features into a more innocent one. Simon’s noticed how stealthy Spike can be of late and whilst the man’s not entered his bunk yet he has managed to be in every other off-limits place that Simon’s been in.
Emerging from shadows, sloping silently into the corridors…. Simon wonders if Spike enjoys the game of cat and mouse Mal’s rules have inadvertently brought about. Simon knows he enjoys it, he’s never been such an exhibitionist in his life and each time Spike catches up with him he can’t help but do something that makes his toes curl. Even if he feels confused and uneasy afterwards, his eyes always checking that there’s no sign of Jayne.
In the infirmary Spike had caught Simon off guard whilst he was cataloguing inventory and had been down on his knees in front of him before the doctor could say hello. How Wash hadn’t guessed what was going on Simon wasn’t sure but he’d managed a half-hearted wave and a strangled smile to the pilot from the windows as he passed, even as Spike’s mouth had teased him.
Then came the corridor, Spike’s temporary bunk, the infirmary again and now the cargo hold- Simon can see it in the gleam in Spike’s eyes.
“My thoughts?” Simon asks, assuming that’s what Spike means. Having spent so much time with him, he’s is starting to understand what Spike’s odd sayings actually mean.
His eyes move from Spike down to the puppy covered women below; neither notice that he’s above them, that they are now above them, which is probably good since one of them would inadvertently say something to clue Mal in. “I’m watching them. River, she’s so fragile, fragmented yet strangely-” he pauses, the softly spoken words hanging in the air.
“Perceptive?”
The word is so apt, Simon can’t help but glance at Spike. Spike and River had only exchanged a few words, both Mal and Simon agreeing it was better for her to remain hidden in case Spike realized who she was and decided to cash in on the Alliance reward. Simon hadn’t thought it likely, but with River he had to remain guarded and vigilant. Much as he loves his sister, Simon is in no way blind when it comes to seeing her slightly freaky behaviour, and how off putting it can be.
River had other ideas. She’d accosted them in the corridor chattering insanely about powers and champions, to the stunned looking Spike.
“Not all there, away with the fairies and all that rot.” Spike’s speaking just as softly but observing River with thoughtful eyes as if he knows something Simon does not. But then Simon cannot see the slight flickering of River’s eyes; can’t see her watching them using reflections rather then turning and staring their way-whereas Spike notices.
“She has her moments, but she’s really quite lucid right now. Much calmer these last two days; I remember reading something on animals and people with illnesses on the Cortex when I was much younger, but given that River tends to frighten animals when she-” Simon hesitates, then pushes himself away from the bars. He doesn’t want to catch River’s attention, to have her unsettle Spike as she did before. It‘s been a few hours since he‘s seen the man, courtesy of Mal’s demands for an inventory and checking on River every half an hour.
“Wouldn’t think the kid scares them, not given the whelps' behaviour towards her.”
“She scared cows once,” a smiles on Simon’s lips as he remembers, “She said they weren’t cows, didn’t remember that they were until they looked up and saw the sky.”
Spike shifts, his body pressing Simon back against the bars, holding him in place though the metal doesn’t grate against Simon’s back. “Bit of a poet your little sis,”
“She has a more capricious side to her too; sometimes I wonder if she can’t see into them, become a part of them.” Simon purses his lips, cutting off the rest of his thoughts, his ramblings on River being psychic.
Even without Simon saying the words, Spike guesses what he’s thinking as though he’s the psychic, not River, “Words are just words sometimes, luv. Nothing to them but that, no hidden meanings, no prophecies, just words. Your sister's smart, damn screwy an’ scary too there’s no doubt but doesn’t mean she knows everything.” His eyes drift behind Simon as his hand slips down to intertwine with the doctor’s, his thumb caressing his palm. “Everyone’s got secrets.”
“Even you?” It’s as close as Simon can come to asking, to voicing all the questions that have been burnt into his mind since meeting Spike, all the questions which were so cleverly distracted by arousal, seduction and sex.
As if true to form, Spike’s mouth is at his ear taking the sensitive earlobe between his teeth and nipping it gently, “Even me, pet. Some secrets you find, other’s you won’t.”
There’s a silent warning in the last word, in the tone of it, and Simon can’t help but shiver at it’s dark quality. It advises caution and promises danger, but is still erotically enticing. Too curious by far Simon’s almost compelled to ask, to break the silent spell that Spike has woven though the other man must sense this since his hands are now skirting Simon’s body, teasing the doctor with the promise of sex on the grounds that the conversation is forgotten.
Simon can’t forget. But there’s no way those skilful hands are going anywhere but on him, no chance he’ll open his mouth now and spoil the moment. Groaning into Spike’s mouth as the blond man kisses him possessively, Simon’s hands clench his buttocks kneading the toned the flesh. Their tongues engaged in a passionately dance, neither notice as first River then Kaylee with an ‘eep’ and blush leave the cargo hold.
Simon knows he should resist, should go back to acting the dignified fellow but Spike’s kisses could make even the most icy melt. Spike pushes him back against the bar, nipping and sucking at Simon’s neck and chest until he’s holding on for support, his flies parting under the blond’s nimble fingers. As coolness encircles his hardening cock, Simon bites back a cry and trembles against the urge to thrust forward to bury himself in Spike’s mouth and take his pleasure quickly; he wants to reciprocate but Spike’s fingers are massaging his balls, urging his body to do as it wishes rather than enjoy the sensations and revel in the moment.
Simon’s panting now, one hand in Spike’s hair as he thrusts forward into the man’s mouth. His eyes open, his gazes catches the dark objects by the side of the stairwell placed strategically where no one will trip.
Jayne’s weights.
Simon’s heart rate jumps and he feels his cock softening as the sight of the innocuous equipment has its effect on him. The mere thought of the mercenary has him ill-at-ease and feeling sordid and soiled; it's almost as though he’s cheating on a long time lover but that in itself is laughable since Simon knows Jayne wants nothing to do with him. In fact he’s sure if Jayne did, it would be nothing but a quick rut to get it out the man’s system.
Exhibitionist as he may be of late, the cargo hold is Jayne’s second home and it almost feels like a violation for them to be in it.
“Simon?”
The question in Spike’s voice has Simon groaning as he looks down to see the blond looking back up at him, Simon’s barely hard cock now in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Simon can feel the blush heating his cheeks and he stammers over his next words, “I can’t do this, I just don’t feel right with it, with River so close-” he breaks off his sentence as he turns around seeing his sister and friend gone, his excuse gone. His hands are trembling as he buttons himself back up, the fun he hasn’t minded sharing up till now tainted by the thought of Jayne. By Simon’s attraction and feeling towards the man.
“No worries,” Spike’s grinning as he gets to his feet, commiserating Simon as he wraps an arm around him, “An’ no brooding either or you’ll be giving to the poof a run for his money. Told you before Simon, it’s just shagging. Don’t want no fancy words, declarations and I’ve got no expectations so you needn’t worry.”
Simon can’t quite believe what he’s hearing and is still unable to stop blushing, “You’re not offended?”
Spike laughs throatily, “Not in the slightest. We had a good run, besides your bloke’s getting a bit twitchy-reckon it might be time for you to do what your heart desires, then you might get what your body wants.”
“You…what?” Simon’s confused, at least he looks confused and more so by Spike’s attitude then the heart flipping idea of approaching Jayne. “You’re the most unique person I think I’ve ever met Spike.” He finally manages to get out as Spike continues to squeeze him in a one arm hug, “And I sincerely hope you get what you want.” Who you want, Simon thinks.
“I hope we both do, Simon,” Spike squeezes his hand as he breaks away, “Think I better be getting back to my bunk before your bloke comes after me with one of the fancy guns he keeps waving in my direction at tea.”
“That may be wise.” Simon hides a smile; his stomach may be churning at the idea of actually speaking to Jayne, at ‘having it out’ as Spike would say, but he can’t help interjecting a little light heartedness into their conversation. “ Knowing River she’s gone after anything that can record images and the last thing we need is Jayne seeing me naked before I see him.”
****
No one else knew of his and Spike’s new understanding, or of the compassion and depth that the other man could show. Perhaps if Jayne knew how Spike believes I should pursue him, Simon mused, he may not be acting like such a boar, so arrogant and graceless towards Spike.
Simon’s staring down at his plate as he uses his fork to toy with the food. He’s trying exceedingly hard to ignore the conversation around him despite Kaylee kicking him on the shin every few minutes to get his attention, hoping that Simon can calm the volatile atmosphere. The evening meal has turned from a tension filled, uneasy dinner to an all out contest; with both Spike and Jayne tossing innuendos and comments at each other ranging from insulting virility, to family and personal hygiene.
About ten minutes in Mal had finally got sick of saying, “No damn pissin’ matches on my boat” and settled for stomping grumpily off in the direction of his bunk. Less then two minutes later Wash had steered Zoe off before the second in command fetched her pistol and blew both men “a new hole in their pigus” as she so easily threatens.
Simon bit his lip, holding in the curses as he glares across the table at Kaylee; she looks apologetic but flicks her eyes to Inara who is not looking in amused in the slightest, in fact when the Companion catches his eye Simon thinks she can see a flash of something akin to sympathy in her eyes.
“Didn’t you ever hear the old saying, ‘a rose by any other name, would still smell as sweet‘?” Inara’s voice is soft, culture and poise showing as she appears the embodiment of serenity, yet the annoyance which flashes in her eyes is clear.
Jayne snorts, “How about niou-fun still bein’ shit?”
Inara purses her lips together, her appreciation of the joke not showing although Kaylee bites back a laugh. Ever the lady, Inara folds her napkin and sets it sedately by her plate, “And on that note, my appetite is gone. It was very nice to meet you…Spike.” Inara pauses over his name, a grimace coming to her lips at the smirk on Jayne’s face.
“Nice to meet you too ducks.” The seductive smile on Spike’s face doesn’t inspire any jealousy in Simon at all, much as Jayne quickly glances at him to gauge his reaction.
“Good night.” The words are harsh, almost as though Inara is reprimanding them all before she glides from the room, glad to be free of the joviality and rudeness.
“So is it a nickname or summit?” Kaylee’s genuinely interested now as she looks at Spike, having jumped off Jayne’s innuendo bandwagon.
“Yeah you named after the somethin’ in your pants that’s gonna lube Kaylee as she pants o’er you an’ the doc?” Jayne’s back on the innuendos again, openly sneering at Spike; now having realised the hilarity of Spike’s name when compared to the profession that Jayne and Mal had thought he belonged to.
Kaylee’s glower is as intense as Simon’s now, “Jayne that ain’t funny, I’m just being polite an’ wonderin’ is all. Not all of us got your kind of mind you know.”
“His is in the gutter, don’t take it too much to heart.” Spike’s smiling at Kaylee now, a lazy flirtatious smile that can weaken knees and Simon can just see it all starting again-can see Jayne bristling, his face set in a scowl. Jayne’s comments, some of which are pure filth and too vulgar for Simon to want tooto listen to verses Spike’s beguiling smiles and lazy answers; the more Jayne baits, the less Spike reacts and the crazier it drives the mercenary.
Kaylee found it funny at first, whilst Simon just found it too embarrassing especially since he was always dragged in, either through mention or kick, to the burgeoning war. River on the other hand was playing both sides. It’s taken Simon a while to notice, but his little sister is definitely using her intelligence for this one, appearing to interject innocent comments and questions which ensure that the tension between Spike and Jayne remains palpable and never dissolves back down to quiet unrest.
“I like William better.” River’s comment is thoughtful, a sweet smile on her lips as she speaks.
That was his mei-mei, now back firmly in the land of distorted ramblings and for that Simon is relieved. Maybe now the comments will die down and they can finish dinner in a civilised manner. His eyes on River, he misses the shock on Spike’s face, the narrowing of his eyes as Spike reassesses her.
“It’s a lovely name River but Spike already has a name, you can’t rename him.” Simon speaks gently not wanting to upset her into a possible fit; he remembers the time she rewrote the Shepherd’s bible and renamed all of Wash’s dinosaurs- he’d dealt with two very unhappy men for over a week.
River rolls her eyes at him as if knowing something he doesn’t or perhaps being superior to him but Simon’s used to it River perfected that look before she hit puberty.
“Means protector, boy's name from the Earth-that-was, Champions, name from Earth-that-was.” River’s voice is lilting as if about to recite a poem or Haiku, “Only fitting.”
Throwing Spike a contrite look, Simon notices the uneasy frown on his face and hastens to assure him, “She doesn’t mean it. You won’t wake up with the name tattooed across your forehead.” As Wash had found on all his dinosaurs. “I can assure you.”
“Sounds like a sissy kinda name to me.” Jayne’s apparently disgusted by the idea, sneering into his drinking cup as though its left a bad taste in his mouth.
“Jayne’s a girl’s name.” River’s response is automatic and bland as it can be but Simon is sure he can see a glimmer of mischief in her eyes and he groans audibly; the noise is drowned out in part by Spike and Kaylee’s laughter and in part by the crash of Jayne’s fist, as the man slams it onto the table.
“I told you once an’ I’m telling’ ya again, I ain’t named after no girl or got the gorram parts to match. An’ I can prove it, told yer I’d damn well show you what parts I got if she went an’ started this go se again!” Jayne’s indignation is visible and Simon’s shaking his head in amused disbelief,
“There’s being crude and then there’s you. Jayne, congratulations, I’ve lost my appetite too.” Simon looks around the table, from Jayne’s angry face with the hands on his flies to disprove what River’s saying, to both Kaylee and Spike who swallow their laughter and smoother their smiles.
“She’s besmirching my name, doc.” There’s a whine to Jayne’s voice that has Simon barely able to keep his composure, the smile threatening at the corner of his mouth.
“River,” Simon’s looking at his sister now. She is the picture of innocence, her head turning towards him as if curious but Simon can see what she’s trying to do, whipping up the animosity between Jayne and Spike, though for what reason Simon’s not sure. The obvious, that she dislikes Jayne, seems redundant now given that River’s playing both men equally off against each other. Perhaps she finds humour in it, Simon thinks clearing his voice before he speaks and standing up.
“River I can assure as Jayne’s physician, I’ve had to stitch him up, treat his wounds and focus on keeping him, along with every other person aboard this ship, in good health. That said I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate when I can quite clearly state, with some emphasis, that Jayne is not a girl and has no hint of any female parts anywhere.” Simon’s blushing now, unable to meet anyone’s eyes but River's though his peripheral vision tells him that Jayne’s nodding.
“Which I hope satisfies every one's curiosity and stops us having to witness the insanity bringing image of Jayne proving it himself.”
The blush is deeper now since Simon’s having vivid mental images of Jayne in the infirmary, with no top on, with no trousers on and with no underwear on when the mercenary just wasn’t sure what the rash was. At the time, he’d been more focused on doing his job, now he was more focused on other things.
And damn if River isn’t laughing at him, silently laughing but it’s still laughing and Simon’s just grasped why. Having a sister who can read minds doesn’t always lead to the most ideal of situations as Simon’s suddenly perceiving. He sinks back down to his chair, unable to hold back the sigh as Jayne finds something else to laugh about.
“I best be packing.”
Simon looks up, startled by the sudden change in conversation and Spike, ignoring all Jayne’s remarks and motions, fixes his gaze on Simon.
“Packing?” He feels stupid the moment he says it and groans inwardly at the look of amusement on Spike’s face.
“Packing the rest of my gear. Didn’t unpack much but your pal,” Spike thumbs the direction Mal’s gone, “Said we’re only an hour or so from Helios and much as I’d love to stay and chat, Angel will be waiting for me.”
“Angel-” Jayne’s laugh is cut off with a cry as River indiscreetly kicks him under the table, her long legs supple and easily reaching their mark. “Gorramit River-girl!”
Spike throws her a grin as he stands up, “Cheers kid, next time make it a bit higher yeah?” His eyes swivel to Simon’s along with everyone else’s as he carelessly adds, “See you in the hold in an hour Simon? Got something to ask you before I leave, might be something you want to consider if things don’t pan out here.”
He offers Simon a wink, everyone’s eyes on the doctor as their expressions range from uncertainty (River) to horror (Kaylee) and anger (most definitely Jayne). Only Simon watches Spike saunter from the room, a thoughtful look settling over his face. He knows Spike means nothing by the comment and from one quick glance around guesses that Spike is ingeniously playing them all-attempting to force Jayne’s hand or possibly even Simon’s own into denying it, denying he’d ever consider leaving Serenity for Spike.
Evil as it may have been and devilish as it is, Simon has no intention of reassuring anyone. Instead he leaves them all to ponder, slipping from his seat with a soft, “Excuse me.” as he follows Spike.
Spike’s not got that much of a head start but Simon pauses in the corridor, unsure what he’s waiting for. No that’s a fallacy, he knows what he’s waiting for but he’s not sure he’ll get what he hopes. Instead of chasing after Spike, he’s leaning against the wall hoping the Jayne will come after him, will stop him.
He’s too far from the dining area to hear the drama unfolding there; his heart beating erratically Simon’s trying to get his stomach under control as it churns wildly at the thought of what could happen.
Starting to have doubts, Simon can’t see the look of fury on Jayne’s face as he spits out his belief to Kaylee,
“No way.” Jayne’s fists are clenched as he stands up, barely able to restrain his own ire at her opinion.
Kaylee’s reassurances fall on death ears as River fuels Jayne’s fears; whether she is genuine or rambling the man doesn’t know but River’s words are enough to strike him cold, and he freezes listening to her wails as Kaylee tries to comfort and calm her.
“Bao bei, shhh, its okay Simon ain’t never gonna leave you.” Kaylee’s stroking her hair and holding her still as she writhes.
“It hurts, he hurts. He’s going to take Simon, take him away where blood runs red and the darkness comes. Stealing him if Simon says yes, he’ll make a kitten such a pretty kitten but it won’t be Simon!”
Something flares in Jayne’s, something close to primal that quiets River and has her whimpering in Kaylee’s arms, “Choo fay wuh suh luh,” the mercenary growls before turning on his heel and striding from the room.
So taken aback Kaylee doesn’t notice the faint smile on River’s lips, she just holds her tightly whilst her hands stroke her back, hoping that what River speaks of will never happen.
****
“You ain’t leavin’”
So deeply entrapped in his own musings and paranoia Simon is startled by the barely growled out words. He blinks in confusion, then inches to one side, looking past Jayne to the empty corridor either side of him, “Excuse me?”
“I said you ain’t leavin’, we’ve go unfinished business you an’ me.” Jayne’s glowering now, arms folded over his chest as he attempts to stare Simon down.
The whole conversation throws Simon a little, but regardless of the confusion he feels a small fission of excitement unfurl in his belly as he wonders if what unfinished business. His mouth is dry and a queasy feeling is settling in his stomach but Simon forces the word out. “Business?”
Jayne’s nodding now but Simon can see a panicked look in his eyes, as if the merc has the sudden urge to bolt and it disheartens him. Had he known Jayne has the urge to throw Simon over his shoulder and lock him up in his bunk till Spike leaves, Simon would not have been so.
“I see.” Jayne’s still not elaborating and the sinking feeling in Simon’s chest is only increasing. He can’t believe how upset he feels at the simple knowledge that Jayne can’t or won’t ask him to stay. “Well tempting as your silence is to consider, I’ll bear your apparent loathing of me up against Spike’s generous offer-whatever it may be.”
Sidestepping past Jayne, Simon is in no way prepared when the mercenary pushes him against the wall, one leg parting Simon’s and trapping him firmly there.
“Chur ni-duh Simon for makin’ me say this.” Jayne is scowling now, the expression not the only thing holding Simon in place, much as he wants to walk away. Jayne’s hand is on his shoulder, it has been squeezing but now it is caressing almost as though soothing the skin in case it has been bruised.
Blue eyes lock as the men stare at each other; Simon trying to understand Jayne’s meaning, dejection and hope both confusing him as he does but Jayne’s expression is unreadable, an odd emotion that Simon can’t place shining in his eyes.
“I ain’t funnin’ with you now, you gotta believe me on that but I ain’t good with all them fancy words an’ that.” Jayne pauses, “So I ain’t gonna say much but I ain’t after no quick rut with you just to even the score, that ain’t me an’ it won’t be you neither. But fancy and pretty? Not me, can’t do that stuff an’ can’t understand it.”
Simon swallows hard readying himself for the rejection he knows is about to happen; he wants to say something, maybe joke and lighten the tense atmosphere or put in some quick comment that will have Jayne snapping at him again. He’d rather the snappish, annoying man that was quick to insult rather than one who’s publicly turned him down.
“Look at me Simon.”
Jayne’s words are harsh, but as Simon looks up he catches the fleeting worry in them and he realises Jayne’s just as anxious as he is, maybe even just as nervous and unsure. It's this that keeps the doctor’s eyes on Jayne, keeps his attention from being purposefully diverted and stops Simon making the biggest mistake by saying the wrong thing. So for once, Simon Tam keeps quiet.
And it’s worth it.
Softly, Jayne presses his lips on Simon’s, the warmth of them the only thing that shocks Simon out of his astonishment. Hesitantly Jayne pulls back as a look of wonderment sweeps across Simon’s face and spurned on by that the man leans in for another kiss, this one longer and deeper then before. Closing his eyes Simon melts into the kiss, uncertainty making for hesitant exploration as he massages Jayne’s tongue with his own. The nervousness is short lived though as Jayne’s also seems to fade, the other man deepening the kiss as his hand cups Simon’s jaw.
Simon gasps softly as Jayne grinds up against him splaying him between the man and the wall, his body aching but his mind no longer confused. This is who he wants, Jayne’s always been who he wants and Jayne’s always been the one who can have him-it's just taken the merc a while to realize what he wants for himself.
Breaking off the kiss, Jayne gives him a stern look. “You know this means, you ain’t goin’ nowhere right? Or do I have to shackle ya up in my bunk?”
The blush that alights on Simon’s face is nothing in comparison to the cock hardening against Jayne’s leg but instead of replying he follows Jayne’s example and leans forward, claiming Jayne’s mouth in a deep kiss that has both men hardening. Exhibitionist as he may have been with Spike, and passionate as his responses were, they pale somewhat in comparison to Simon’s response to Jayne.
Usually more reserved Simon can’t understand what brings out such wanton behaviour in him. Jayne touches and caresses are masterful, as though the man is skilled at the art of seduction, but Simon himself has been schooled into proper and seemly behaviour from such a young age and should be able to resist. Jayne’s kisses are more tender then he ever expected, the reality better then dreaming.
Jayne’s voice, his scent and manner it all drives Simon to distraction, almost to the brink of insanity; actually having him now, in his arms or albeit being in Jayne’s arms, isn’t so much like scratching an itch or closing a book-it’s like opening one at the beginning and starting anew.